Adoption – Absence of Adults

As grateful as I am for the life I have now, for the person I have been, for the person I have become and am becoming, for the way I’ve always landed on my feet, and the way things always work out for me, for the friends I have who have become family, for the experiences I’ve lived – and the ones I’ve survived – for the courage I’ve shown and the things I’ve taught myself.

As grateful as I am for all of my life – I still feel the absence of that family behind me.

Not my family of friends, I know they are my family forever. They are the people with whom I will share the journey of life for the rest of our lives and I’m so, so grateful. Still, they are my peers; they are my age.

What I miss sometimes, is the presence of “adults” in my life, older people – people who are the age that my parents would be, or the age my grandparents would be. Continue reading Adoption – Absence of Adults

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Adoption – The Missed Period

I had almost given up on having a family and children. Until earlier last year when I missed a period, it was almost 4 weeks overdue before it arrived.

In this time my mind went into overdrive:

  • After two days overdue (they are always on time) I started to daydream about being pregnant, especially when I’d had all the usual signs and symptoms that my period was coming in the week leading up to it,
  • after 4 days I started to allow myself to toy more with the idea,
  • after 7 days I allowed myself to start to believe it was possible,
  • after two weeks I was CERTAIN that we (the man in the story) had created a miracle (he’s been fixed, but a Google search rendered many a happy conception after “fixing”).

At that point I went to get a blood test; I was so certain that it was going to be positive I was buzzing with excitement. The doctor gave me a referral and I had the test done on a Saturday. Then I had to wait until Tuesday to get the results (small town, busy doctors).

Well, you all know the results… Continue reading Adoption – The Missed Period

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Adoption – Courses – Siblings in Adoption Part 1

Online course offered by AFABC
Presented by Randy Simpson and Cathy Gilbert
Hosted by Erin Melvin, AFABC

My notes here are written as the sessions flowed for me and are about the subjects that caught my attention. These sessions held much more information than is presented here and discussions were often driven by the course participants and their questions. If you are considering adoption and either have children already or are interested in adopting siblings then I would highly recommend attending this course.

First of all, the course presenter, Cathy Gilbert, and her husband have 16 children – 13 through adoption! That alone makes her an excellent source of information, and worth attending this course. She was also humble and interesting and a really great speaker.

This course covered many aspects of siblings, both adding new children through adoption to existing children in your home to create siblings, or adopting a sibling group through local or international adoption.

I attended this course because I want to adopt a sibling group.

Why? Continue reading Adoption – Courses – Siblings in Adoption Part 1

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Adoption – Third and final home study

As mentioned in the post last week, the third and final portion of the home study was completed at the coffee shop during our meeting about the therapist weigh-in.

In a coffee shop for me was not ideal, and definitely out of my comfort zone, but I guess parenting will be out of my comfort zone too! So best to get used to answering unusual personal questions in public spaces….right?!

We talked about a lot of things and the toughest question by far was this one:

If you die who will get your kids?  Continue reading Adoption – Third and final home study

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Adoption – Still on the path…

Therapist weighs in:

If you remember from the last post it had been suggested that I undertake therapy for the purposes of demonstrating I was sufficiently healed from my past and ready to be a mom.

When Theresa, my adoption social worker, emailed to book an appointment with me to discuss the next steps I was excited. This meant the therapist had weighed in with her and I would find out where we were now in the process.

However, I still had a tentatively booked appointment with the therapist for the weekend before the meeting with Theresa. So I called the therapist and asked her if we needed to keep the meeting.

She told me that she had provided her report to Theresa, so we cancelled the tentative appointment, and then followed up with “if you want to schedule an appointment after you have met with Theresa to discuss the outcome, I will be here for you.”

Uh… sure. Continue reading Adoption – Still on the path…

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