Magic, Miracles, and other Wonders

During the past few weeks, coincidentally (or not), while I was on vacation I reconnected with that feeling that everything in my life is coming together in perfect harmony.

What a relief!

When I relax, when I let go of how my desired outcome should happen, when I start focusing on what I have that makes me feel happy and joyful and grateful, AND, when I stop focusing on what is missing, when I stop feeling like a victim of circumstances out of my control (on both a small scale, say a traffic light going red when I’m late…or a much larger scale), when I focus on imagining the ways in which life could work out for me and then I back it up with the ways in which life has already worked out for me…

Then “miraculous” things start happening. Continue reading Magic, Miracles, and other Wonders

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Adoption – Staying Open

Staying-open-can-beOne of the challenges in this adoption process is staying open to the possibilities and not closing your heart after the first (or second, or third, or fourth) heartbreak.

I struggled with this for a few months after the planned placement with H&B fell through. At first I tried to tell myself I was OK, because the decision was mine to step back and say “this is not a good match for anyone involved” and I felt it was a good decision, the right decision.

What I didn’t expect at that time was that eventually the loss of the dream of the family I imagined we would be would catch up with me, and I would feel grief. Continue reading Adoption – Staying Open

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Caged bird

I am currently on vacation from work… woop-woop!

Never have I needed time off as much as I did this time around because I’ve never before worked in a job like the one I have right now.

I feel a bit like a slave to my employer. Overtime has become a part of my everyday existence for at least 3 weeks out of every month, and I don’t like it. Continue reading Caged bird

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The waiting game

In a post from about a month ago I briefly outlined the twins that I was drawn to at the Be My Parent – matching event.

They were, at the time, 18 months old (likely closer to 20 months now), a boy and a girl whose names start with M, and have an Aboriginal background. In the last post I mentioned that they were looking for a cultural match so I may not be considered, however, I have re-read the profile many times since then and it states only that a cultural match is preferred, which to me means that it is not essential. So this has increased my hope of being the right match for these two.

Though my social worker has sent several emails to the guardianship workers for M & M, we are still waiting to hear if I will be considered as a potential match for them, or if they have another potential match already.

So now we play… the waiting game. Continue reading The waiting game

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