Almost healed and free!

Greyson is almost healed and free from the bedroom! I’m so proud of my little furry healing machine!

At our last vet appointment the Dr. told me that the bone has fused nicely and that he believes that his bone is now as strong as any other in his body.

All that is left to do is to help him rebuild the muscle in that leg.

What a relief.

It took me a few days to trust his words, Greyson was still limping, still doing what my friend calls “the little dancer” where he sticks his leg out to the side whenever he’s standing still, and still stretching every chance he can.

The day after the appointment I put one of his climbing trees in the bedroom. This was the suggestion of the Dr. to start introducing new heights for him to climb.

He leaped to the top of it from the floor almost immediately.

My heart was in my throat.

And I’m seeing a pattern here.

I am having trouble letting go and trusting that he knows his limits.

His broken leg was the most traumatic experience in the last 10 years of my life. I never want to go through that again. Never. Ever.

Logically, even spiritually, I know that I can’t ward myself against accidents happening for the rest of my life, or even for the rest of Greyson’s life.

At some point – soon – I am going to have to let go and trust that everything will be OK. And KNOW that even if something like this happens again, we will still be OK.

I’ve shown myself that I can make it through. It was hard, harder emotionally than anything I’ve done for a prolonged period of time that I can remember. And the thought of going through it again does make my insides quiver in fear.

But we made it through. And I would make it through again.

Life keeps going, and we keep rolling with it, even when it’s tough, even when we think we can’t go another step, or another minute, or another breath… we do. I do. And I will.

Last Friday I put the bed back together in the room. Rather than a mattress on the floor, we now have the frame and box spring back as well! I’d forgotten how high it is, I literally have to “climb” onto the bed as the top of it all sits at my waist.

Greyson is loving it. Jumped right up there, and sleeps like a king overseeing his pride.

This weekend I will spend some time cat proofing the rest of the apartment by blocking off some of those places he used to jump, like the top of the kitchen cupboards, and I will also clear away some of the stuff that accumulated during the months where I was “full-time” nurse (whenever I was home).

Now, with more freedom in the bedroom for him and more strength in his leg, I’ve left him a few times to go out at night. For the first time in months I have been out past dark (twice now), and he’s been ok, not unsafe, though he has needed more attention when I get home.

We have developed a strong bond during this time and he seems to enjoy having me around as much as I do having him around.

Which leads me to a confession.

A small part of me wants to keep him locked in the bedroom forever. I love being able to walk in and he’s happy to see me. We play or snuggle and he makes me laugh with his antics. I’m going to miss the closeness of our time together in the one room. I’ve enjoyed catering to his needs, and being his support – after the initial month of high-stress nursing was over. I’ve enjoyed feeling like a mommy. A cat mommy sure, but it’s been nice to have someone to care for on a daily basis.

It has also been nice having the rest of the house cat-free. There is a part of me that appreciates not having to be concerned about the stove top being cool enough for him to walk on the glass (as he does sometimes), or not having cat hair everywhere including the kitchen prep areas, and not having the litter tray next to the dining table because my space is so small.

Although, I will enjoy having the litter tray out of the bedroom!

There is also an element of control that I feel about having some of my space be completely my own. And I’ve enjoyed that freedom from sharing everything (especially my keyboard and computer desk!! Anyone else with a cat and a desire to write relate?!).

However, on the flip-side is the anticipation of not feeling beholden to entertain him. Or to feel as though I have to retire to the bedroom early (like 7:30pm) so that I can spend some time with him when he’s been alone all day. Or to be free to go out and not miss or cancel all the evening things I want to do because he needs me. It will feel amazing to be able to write for longer than an hour before I have to answer his call. It will be nice to eat a meal without burning the roof of my mouth because he is crying for attention.

It will also be wonderful to sit on the couch again with him curled up beside me, or on my lap and watch a movie or read a book. I’ve been able to do those things of course in the bedroom, but it would be nice to be “living” in the living room again.

So, it’s been interesting to feel these emotions coming up as we move slowly toward his freedom from the confined space of the bedroom.

My plan is to be ready to release him for Easter. That gives us both two more weeks. Me: to get the rest of my space ready for him, and him: to build up his muscle strength so that I feel safe to let him out.

Here’s to an accident free future!

Wahoo… we made it.

Warm smiles and Love,

Ali Jayne

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