Artificial insemination (AI) is the deliberate introduction of sperm into a female’s uterus or cervix for the purpose of achieving a pregnancy through in vivo fertilization by means other than sexual intercourse.
Insemination may be called in vivo fertilisation (from in vivo meaning “within the living”) because an egg is fertilized inside the body, and is thus essentially the opposite of in vitro fertilisation.
Excerpted from Wikipedia
I have decided to try to have a baby naturally.
Until this point in my life I have resisted this idea because I had an idealistic view of conception and wanted to only create life with someone I Love.
As I rounded the corner toward my 44th birthday, with no partner or even potential partner on the horizon, I realised that I could still create life with someone I Love… and that someone is me.
I Love me enough to create a life with and for me.
Sure I will need the goods from somewhere, and those goods will become a part of the child that I hope to create and grow inside of my body, but I don’t need a Love outside of me to Love that creation.
Coming to this realisation has been life changing.
I have been studying A Course In Miracles for the past 170-ish days, and since the break in my elbow have spent a good portion of every day meditating on the lesson, or on life. As well, I have been studying Reiki, and became a Reiki Master. For the past month or so I have started each day, and sometimes finished each day, with a self-Reiki session, bringing myself into a state of relaxation, clarity, and harmony.
Many things have been leading me to letting go of past behaviours and beliefs, and this was perhaps the biggest one for me to shed.
Sure, I’ve left it late in life.
The “odds” are against me, and at this point I’m not interested in medical intervention for two reasons:
- The cost. It’s outrageous. And I’d rather keep my savings for after the baby is born.
- I don’t want anyone to dampen how I feel about this now with medical statistics, tests, or opinions about my age.
I am a student of law of attraction, I know how important it is to feel the joy, faith, hope, and Love inside of me as I envision the experiences I want in my life.
So I choose to keep this positive.
That way if it happens, hoorah! And if it doesn’t, I at least tried.
What about adoption? I hear you ask.
Well, I still want to adopt and my plan for the future is to adopt and foster.
One of the things that helped me get to this point of wanting to try to have a baby myself is that my age is creeping up there and soon I may not be matched with a child under five through adoption.
There are a great many younger people wanting to adopt young children – which is amazing and I’m overjoyed that this is the case. However, if I want to have an infant or a toddler, then that window is closing through adoption channels. At least, so I’ve been told.
Although, if I have a baby myself, then the odds of being matched with an infant or toddler go from two percent, to about 80 percent… go figure!
Another reason is that I’m still in the one bedroom condo, we’re coming up to two years since the prices of rental and purchase properties in my town spiked beyond my budget and I’m still here.
I should have moved out of this town sooner, found another job sooner, and got my chickens in the same basket sooner. But I didn’t. So here I am still looking for job options, still trying to find the best place to move that is affordable and appealing.
Now, if I make a move to another province – and my goal is to move to Nova Scotia early next year – I will be waiting at least six months before I can apply for adoption in that province, then there are new courses to attend and approvals to gain. I could be looking at 18 months before the matching would start.
That will take me over 45 years old and even less likely to be matched with a toddler – read zero percent from two percent!
So, shedding that feeling that I needed to be with a man I Love to create life and realising that I Love myself enough to create life alone, I have decided to at least give it a shot before it’s too late.
I’ve never in my life tried to get pregnant; in fact, it’s safe to say I have tried very specifically in every way possible to avoid getting pregnant.
This is completely new territory for me.
Maybe it will happen right away. Maybe it won’t.
One thing is for certain, it will not happen if I do not try.
Any other late blooming momma’s out there? How did you stay away from the naysayers to allow you to stay positive within during this journey… I’d love to hear from you.
Warm smiles and Love,