A missed connection and a little spotting

The day finally arrived to fly out of the country toward my destiny, or at least toward the Czech Republic where I was going to have an embryo transfer in the hope of having a baby.

That morning I went through the routine as normal; insert four progesterone balls, take the estrogen tablet, perform a Reiki session and a little meditation, snuggle with my kitty who I would miss terribly, shower, dress, and wait for the cat-sitter to arrive.

Then I was on the road, tunes playing, feeling a little bubble of nerves building within my gut.

I pushed those feelings away and focused on the road, on the drive.

Occasionally I’d allow my mind to wander and I thought not of the transfer, but of the result. I imagined my son or daughter in the back seat of the car, as a five year old, preparing to go for a vacation somewhere. I imagined talking with them, or singing to them, I imagined what it would feel like to be a  mom. Continue reading A missed connection and a little spotting

Be Sociable, Share!

A “go” for transfer

My next appointment was not with my regular doctor because he was away, I had to see someone else to get my test results.

When I made the appointment I’d asked to see my doctor’s wife, at his suggestion, but she too was not working that day. So I told the receptionist that I just needed results and any doctor would do.

She had said there was one doctor available, then said the doctor’s name so quietly I had to ask her to repeat it.

When she did, I said that would be fine. I’d never heard of this doctor but I just needed results…anyone would do!

There was a pause on the phone and then she said, “are you sure?” as though surprised. Continue reading A “go” for transfer

Be Sociable, Share!

Final ultrasound before transfer

This time I took the day off. The full bladder thing and all.

Plus, there was a time constraint.

I needed to get my results to the clinic in the Czech Republic before the end of the day, because it was Thursday in Canada, Friday in Olomouc, and I was scheduled to fly out of the country on Sunday. The results of this scan would determine if and when I was to start the progesterone.

I had to have a lining of at least 7mm or more. If I did not…well, I didn’t want to think about it. I was so close.

The full bladder… Continue reading Final ultrasound before transfer

Be Sociable, Share!

My Magnificent Body

I am feeling grateful for my magnificent body. A wondrous feeling!

On Friday, like clockwork, as expected my body produced the last period I will have before the transfer.

Earlier in the week I had a few moments of panic that I made the wrong decision to not use birth control to regulate my flow. Everyone online talked about using it to ensure the transfer date; even those who had regular periods without it, but it didn’t sit right with me. The BCP felt like a step in the wrong direction.

Even my doctor thought it might be a good idea to go on it, but I wanted to trust my body and do this as “naturally” as possible. I didn’t feel right about adding more drugs to the mix.

Perhaps my way of having control of the situation a little more!

Always comes back to control with me! Haha. Continue reading My Magnificent Body

Be Sociable, Share!

Am I mom material? Or am I a fraud?

One thing that is freaking me out most of all is that NO ONE is telling me this is a bad idea.

Not the Czech Republic part of the transfer, because a couple of friends have shown concern about this part of it.

But the having a baby part.

NO ONE has been unsupportive of this!

NOT ONE PERSON.

How is this possible?

And why does that make me feel so uncomfortable. Continue reading Am I mom material? Or am I a fraud?

Be Sociable, Share!

March Booking – Embryo Transfer

Booking for March Transfer

My flights are booked!

Emotions.

I have been approved as an adoptive parent through the Ministry (adoption from foster care) for 3.5 years, and with one failed match and no other matches, I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be “expecting”.

When I was first approved for adoption, I made announcements, I was giddy with excitement, I was full-throttle about courses, and internal work to become “ready”. Then as the months turned into a year and one year turned into more years, it all seemed more like a hazy dream, rather than something imminent.

For the first year or so, the people to whom I’d made announcements used to constantly check in on me, “Any news?”… until they stopped. Continue reading March Booking – Embryo Transfer

Be Sociable, Share!

Embryo Transfer – Husband Required

The only catch with pursuing Embryo Adoption through the Czech Republic was that their laws are such that only a married couple can access these services. Male/female marriage to be precise.

Thankfully, two of the clinics that I contacted (out of the three) only required that I provide identification for my “husband”. He was not required to travel with me.

So I was in search of a friend who would provide me with a copy of their driver’s licence that I could send with my application. Continue reading Embryo Transfer – Husband Required

Be Sociable, Share!

Flight, Freeze, Fight – Personal Crisis Response

I’m terrible in a crisis.

A personal crisis.

Terrible.

Fight. Flight. Freeze.

My first instinct is Flight.

As soon as a personal crisis happens I want to run away from it, it’s instinctual, primal even, everything in my body screams “RUN!”.

And by “run” sometimes that looks like turning my back on the situation and trying to pretend it isn’t there. (Okay, being honest, that is often my go-to.) Continue reading Flight, Freeze, Fight – Personal Crisis Response

Be Sociable, Share!

Frozen Embryo Transfer – Medical Requirements

After deciding to go ahead with an Embryo Transfer in the Czech Republic, I had set up an appointment with my doctor to go over the medical requirements the clinic had sent me via email.

My appointment with my doctor rolled around, and I was feeling a little nervous about it.

When I’d first considered Artificial Insemination (AI) as a real option late last year, a dear friend who is more like a sister to me suggested I go to the doctor and have myself checked out before commencing. She suggested STD checks, pap smear, having my uterus checked, and so on.

To be honest, I hadn’t had a pap smear for over 12 years, and I’d never had an STD check, let alone any of the other tests! Continue reading Frozen Embryo Transfer – Medical Requirements

Be Sociable, Share!

Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) – Not Adoption

You may have pieced this together already because I mentioned the two donor forms that I was provided by the clinic, one for the female characteristics and one for the male.

But I did not.

It was only through reading more posts on the forums for the Czech Republic that I started to get it…

These clinics use donor embryos and donor sperm from young healthy donors, mostly university students, and create the embryo specifically for the client. Continue reading Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) – Not Adoption

Be Sociable, Share!