Am I mom material? Or am I a fraud?

One thing that is freaking me out most of all is that NO ONE is telling me this is a bad idea.

Not the Czech Republic part of the transfer, because a couple of friends have shown concern about this part of it.

But the having a baby part.

NO ONE has been unsupportive of this!

NOT ONE PERSON.

How is this possible?

And why does that make me feel so uncomfortable. Continue reading Am I mom material? Or am I a fraud?

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Artificial Insemination

Artificial insemination (AI) is the deliberate introduction of sperm into a female’s uterus or cervix for the purpose of achieving a pregnancy through in vivo fertilization by means other than sexual intercourse.

Insemination may be called in vivo fertilisation (from in vivo meaning “within the living”) because an egg is fertilized inside the body, and is thus essentially the opposite of in vitro fertilisation.
Excerpted from Wikipedia

I have decided to try to have a baby naturally.

Until this point in my life I have resisted this idea because I had an idealistic view of conception and wanted to only create life with someone I Love. Continue reading Artificial Insemination

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Screaming for help – Final Words

Final words on Screaming for Help!

Continued from Part Seven

It’s been a long journey, and while the healing is not yet over there is now light at the end of the tunnel.

I’m still seeing the physio once a week, still doing the exercises daily, still waking to stiffness and pain (though it subsides relatively quickly with massage and movement), and still unable to do a down-dog!

Update: I did actually do one this morning, and it was painful in my shoulder, but not my elbow! What I found though was that bending my elbow while weight bearing is still quite painful. Still, I did a down-dog! Woop-Woop! Continue reading Screaming for help – Final Words

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Screaming for help: Part four

The first two and a half weeks after surgery…

Following on from last week

I’m one day out of surgery, my arm is bandaged – not cast – swollen, and very warm.

I had pain killers that the hospital prescribed that I was to take every 3-4 hours (or as needed) along with Tylenol Extra Strength every 6 hours.

Those first few days, I set my alarm for both doses – even through the night.

When Karen left the morning after the surgery I felt sure this was the time to grieve. I wanted to cry my heart out for the experience of the past four days. Continue reading Screaming for help: Part four

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Crisis outweighs heartbreak

respect-acceptance-and

Not for the first time in my life has a crisis outweighed what could have been a heartbreaking experience for me.

Crisis outweighs Heartbreak. 

A good friend, someone I considered up and in line with my best of friends, “broke up” with me.

He decided that our differences were too cavernous for his liking and he needed to distance himself from those differences.

The result:  Continue reading Crisis outweighs heartbreak

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The coil at the end of the rope

When-I-accept-that-there

Last weekend during a three hour yoga workshop I connected with the feeling that I’ve been holding too tightly to outcomes in my life.

And I – again – realised that when I feel as though my life is spinning out of my control, I hang on to whatever idea that feels like a lifeline as though it is indeed a lifeline.

Not only do I hold onto this idea, but I defend it, protect it, and nurture it so vehemently that I often don’t see it is nothing more than a rope, the end of which is sitting at my feet, coiled, not actually attached to any solution. Continue reading The coil at the end of the rope

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The Blanket Exercise

Once-again-I-felt-the

Saturday I participated in an Early Child Development Conference workshop entitled “The Blanket Exercise”.

This was an interactive workshop about the history of First Nations people in Canada, with particular emphasis on First Nations people in BC.

There were many First Nations participants, one First Nations facilitator, and several First Nations elders from the local band.

Most of the people present had been a part of Continue reading The Blanket Exercise

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My town or adoption

Entrance - front

These are my choices right now: to stay in my town, or to adopt and start a family.

Yes, burgeoning house and rental prices are forcing me to choose between adoption or the town that I have called home for over 10 years, a town that I love, a town in which I have established a great network of friends, become involved in many community groups, and learned to play drums with the local pipe band.

In the past 18 months, and especially in the past 12 months, house prices have soared well out of my affordable range. Not only purchase prices, but rental prices too. Continue reading My town or adoption

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Almost healed and free!

Greyson is almost healed and free from the bedroom! I’m so proud of my little furry healing machine!

At our last vet appointment the Dr. told me that the bone has fused nicely and that he believes that his bone is now as strong as any other in his body.

All that is left to do is to help him rebuild the muscle in that leg.

What a relief.

It took me a few days to trust his words, Greyson was still limping, still doing what my friend calls “the little dancer” where he sticks his leg out to the side whenever he’s standing still, and still stretching every chance he can. Continue reading Almost healed and free!

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Greyson’s Broken Leg

On December 30, 2015 Greyson had to be hospitalised with a broken leg.

This happened because I was walking to the bedroom and he usually races ahead of me to jump on the bed and either play a game or get cuddles.

It happens every time I head to the bedroom.

We could play this game 40 times a day.

This time he was further away from the bedroom, in the kitchen I think, and he ran fast (about Mach20) through my legs as I was walking. Continue reading Greyson’s Broken Leg

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