Hiatus

Every-day-we-start-anew

Taking a hiatus.

Another way of saying withdrawing into a slump of hopelessness.

Followed, of course, by the journey back to a place where hope dwells.

I remember years ago, in my early 20’s, I had started seeing my bio-dad again. He was sick (MS), had been all my life, and I found it emotionally challenging to spend time with him. Continue reading Hiatus

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The coil at the end of the rope

When-I-accept-that-there

Last weekend during a three hour yoga workshop I connected with the feeling that I’ve been holding too tightly to outcomes in my life.

And I – again – realised that when I feel as though my life is spinning out of my control, I hang on to whatever idea that feels like a lifeline as though it is indeed a lifeline.

Not only do I hold onto this idea, but I defend it, protect it, and nurture it so vehemently that I often don’t see it is nothing more than a rope, the end of which is sitting at my feet, coiled, not actually attached to any solution. Continue reading The coil at the end of the rope

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My town or adoption

Entrance - front

These are my choices right now: to stay in my town, or to adopt and start a family.

Yes, burgeoning house and rental prices are forcing me to choose between adoption or the town that I have called home for over 10 years, a town that I love, a town in which I have established a great network of friends, become involved in many community groups, and learned to play drums with the local pipe band.

In the past 18 months, and especially in the past 12 months, house prices have soared well out of my affordable range. Not only purchase prices, but rental prices too. Continue reading My town or adoption

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Almost healed and free!

Greyson is almost healed and free from the bedroom! I’m so proud of my little furry healing machine!

At our last vet appointment the Dr. told me that the bone has fused nicely and that he believes that his bone is now as strong as any other in his body.

All that is left to do is to help him rebuild the muscle in that leg.

What a relief.

It took me a few days to trust his words, Greyson was still limping, still doing what my friend calls “the little dancer” where he sticks his leg out to the side whenever he’s standing still, and still stretching every chance he can. Continue reading Almost healed and free!

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What I learned as a caregiver…

What I learned while caring for the broken

During the first few weeks of care for Greyson, I learned so much about my little fur-baby and his personality.

Most interesting though, is what I learned about me and my personality. Continue reading What I learned as a caregiver…

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Out of the cage and back in the bedroom!

What a relief.

Greyson is out of his cage, which has now been folded back up and is being used as a “gate” outside of the bedroom door.

And I am back in the bedroom sleeping on my own mattress, no longer on the couch!

Hoo-ray! Continue reading Out of the cage and back in the bedroom!

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Greyson’s Broken Leg

On December 30, 2015 Greyson had to be hospitalised with a broken leg.

This happened because I was walking to the bedroom and he usually races ahead of me to jump on the bed and either play a game or get cuddles.

It happens every time I head to the bedroom.

We could play this game 40 times a day.

This time he was further away from the bedroom, in the kitchen I think, and he ran fast (about Mach20) through my legs as I was walking. Continue reading Greyson’s Broken Leg

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Prisoner in my own home – Kitty with a broken leg

I’m on edge. In my own home. Held captive by a four legged tyrant who himself is captive.

We are tied together in our misery.

He is frustrated with his tiny environment and his slow-to-heal leg. I am overwhelmed with the never ending duty of nurse, supervisor, and caregiver.

It’s too much.

The guilt that I feel in even saying this is too much.

I can’t spend more than 4 hours away from the house during the day, and evenings are no longer my own to give away.

Like Cinderella I have a curfew, but unlike Cinderella my curfew is attached to the sun going down not the strike of midnight. Continue reading Prisoner in my own home – Kitty with a broken leg

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Mom Triggers

Even with adoption no longer feeling imminent, every part of my life I try to translate into a lesson I can learn to either understand my potential future adopted children, or I can use to help them through their own tough times. (and maybe even help me become a good mom!)

Last week was my birthday.

And what would a birthday be without a mom trigger? Continue reading Mom Triggers

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Sick Kitty = Weepy Mom

My kitty cat, Greyson, is teaching me what I will be like as a mom.

Or at least what I might be like – because a mostly self-sufficient, independent cat is a totally different experience to a child, I do understand this.

This past weekend he got sick, and I cried.

On Saturday evening I was resting on the couch while watching a movie, (Blended, with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler, a cute movie), and Greyson came and snuggled into one of my feet. His arm and paw around my foot like so:

IMG_0626

My heart expanded with happy feelings of love for him.

About 30 minutes later, Continue reading Sick Kitty = Weepy Mom

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