Am I mom material? Or am I a fraud?

One thing that is freaking me out most of all is that NO ONE is telling me this is a bad idea.

Not the Czech Republic part of the transfer, because a couple of friends have shown concern about this part of it.

But the having a baby part.

NO ONE has been unsupportive of this!

NOT ONE PERSON.

How is this possible?

And why does that make me feel so uncomfortable. Continue reading Am I mom material? Or am I a fraud?

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March Booking – Embryo Transfer

Booking for March Transfer

My flights are booked!

Emotions.

I have been approved as an adoptive parent through the Ministry (adoption from foster care) for 3.5 years, and with one failed match and no other matches, I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be “expecting”.

When I was first approved for adoption, I made announcements, I was giddy with excitement, I was full-throttle about courses, and internal work to become “ready”. Then as the months turned into a year and one year turned into more years, it all seemed more like a hazy dream, rather than something imminent.

For the first year or so, the people to whom I’d made announcements used to constantly check in on me, “Any news?”… until they stopped. Continue reading March Booking – Embryo Transfer

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Flight, Freeze, Fight – Personal Crisis Response

I’m terrible in a crisis.

A personal crisis.

Terrible.

Fight. Flight. Freeze.

My first instinct is Flight.

As soon as a personal crisis happens I want to run away from it, it’s instinctual, primal even, everything in my body screams “RUN!”.

And by “run” sometimes that looks like turning my back on the situation and trying to pretend it isn’t there. (Okay, being honest, that is often my go-to.) Continue reading Flight, Freeze, Fight – Personal Crisis Response

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Frozen Embryo Transfer – Medical Requirements

After deciding to go ahead with an Embryo Transfer in the Czech Republic, I had set up an appointment with my doctor to go over the medical requirements the clinic had sent me via email.

My appointment with my doctor rolled around, and I was feeling a little nervous about it.

When I’d first considered Artificial Insemination (AI) as a real option late last year, a dear friend who is more like a sister to me suggested I go to the doctor and have myself checked out before commencing. She suggested STD checks, pap smear, having my uterus checked, and so on.

To be honest, I hadn’t had a pap smear for over 12 years, and I’d never had an STD check, let alone any of the other tests! Continue reading Frozen Embryo Transfer – Medical Requirements

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Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) – Not Adoption

You may have pieced this together already because I mentioned the two donor forms that I was provided by the clinic, one for the female characteristics and one for the male.

But I did not.

It was only through reading more posts on the forums for the Czech Republic that I started to get it…

These clinics use donor embryos and donor sperm from young healthy donors, mostly university students, and create the embryo specifically for the client. Continue reading Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) – Not Adoption

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Embryo Adoption – The way for me

The more thought I’ve given to this option of Embryo Adoption, the more I’m feeling as though this is the way to go for me at this point in my life.

I was willing to try Artificial Insemination with the cup and syringe, but honestly it made my heart cringe at the thought of meeting some random guy, taking his jizz and inserting it into my body… even if it was the healthiest of sperm.

Just too much “EW” factor for me. Continue reading Embryo Adoption – The way for me

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The Turkey Baster Method – Artificial Insemination

Turkey Baster Method

Okay, so you don’t actually use a turkey baster, it is a little more high tech than that…also cleaner and more sterile! Phew!

My Google research on how to artificially inseminate at home gave me some options that did not require a utensil from my kitchen!

Here are the three most popular options:

The Cup and Syringe:

Continue reading The Turkey Baster Method – Artificial Insemination

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The Seedy Side of Artificial Insemination

Artificial Insemination – The Who.

Well. This is where the whole Artificial Insemination decision gets a little weird and sometimes a little ugly, and the ugly was only on day four of navigating this option.

My first step was to re-watch “The Switch” with Jennifer Anniston and Jason Bateman. Such a beautiful movie, silly, funny, great supporting cast, it makes me laugh, it makes me cry, and there is a beautiful little person created from the Love of two friends.

Hollywood version out of the way, and my resolve sufficiently fluffed, my next step was to start the Google treadmill and see what I could find. Continue reading The Seedy Side of Artificial Insemination

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Artificial Insemination

Artificial insemination (AI) is the deliberate introduction of sperm into a female’s uterus or cervix for the purpose of achieving a pregnancy through in vivo fertilization by means other than sexual intercourse.

Insemination may be called in vivo fertilisation (from in vivo meaning “within the living”) because an egg is fertilized inside the body, and is thus essentially the opposite of in vitro fertilisation.
Excerpted from Wikipedia

I have decided to try to have a baby naturally.

Until this point in my life I have resisted this idea because I had an idealistic view of conception and wanted to only create life with someone I Love. Continue reading Artificial Insemination

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Screaming for help – Final Words

Final words on Screaming for Help!

Continued from Part Seven

It’s been a long journey, and while the healing is not yet over there is now light at the end of the tunnel.

I’m still seeing the physio once a week, still doing the exercises daily, still waking to stiffness and pain (though it subsides relatively quickly with massage and movement), and still unable to do a down-dog!

Update: I did actually do one this morning, and it was painful in my shoulder, but not my elbow! What I found though was that bending my elbow while weight bearing is still quite painful. Still, I did a down-dog! Woop-Woop! Continue reading Screaming for help – Final Words

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