Law of Attraction – Mystical Clarity @ 4am…

The Law of Attraction Series

Recently I had some bad news, devastating news even, and as I sat in that chair hearing the news, seeing the person’s mouth move, hearing the words, trying – struggling – to comprehend what they were saying and knowing that what they were saying was not at all who I was or what I was about, I wondered, “how will I turn this around?”

I felt sick to my stomach with the information I had been given, the judgments that had been placed on me. But I had no time to wallow, it all happened right before another meeting I had to attend to take minutes for a local community organisation.

Taking minutes was the distraction I needed and because it was the “after the event” meeting, it went long. Really long. By the time I got home I only had time to shower and go to bed – exhausted I slept, until around 4am when I woke…and remembered.

For a brief moment I panicked, scared that the whole world would come crashing down around me. With a deep breath I wouldn’t allow it – I would not allow someone else to define how I felt about myself. No way. Nor would I allow this information to take away the excited optimistic childlike self that I am most of the time. I had been on top of the world for months now, excited about the direction my life was taking, excited about the internal growth that went with the future I was imagining, and overjoyed to be on the path to becoming a parent.

I was in such a good place before the news, and I wanted to reclaim that feeling.

There is a mystical clarity at 4am that I find on the occasions that I need it, and this was no exception.

I started to reconnect with why I was pursuing this desire of my heart in the first place, why I felt honesty was most beneficial as a platform. I started to feel what it was that I want to achieve, the outcome I had wanted. And I realised that this news was just a blip in the grand scheme of things, that it was a misunderstanding of people coming at things in a different way. I realised that it didn’t have to be devastating at all, merely a pause to consider and reflect so as to find a way to create understanding and eventually receive the outcome we all desired.

The more I went over these reasoning’s, the more I connected with the feeling of why I wanted this in the first place, the more clarity I gained, the more positive I felt, the more a lightness returned to my body and mind, and I knew – I KNEW – that everything would work out.

Feeling clear and content that this was a “slow down” rather than a “full stop” and was therefore the opportunity to reflect and grow, I felt relief.

It also allowed me the time to accept that it was a pause I desired, I had felt that things were spinning too fast for me to really enjoy the path and while this would not have been my choice for a slowdown it was still a response to my own asking. Note to self: use your words in the future and just ask!

In that relief I then slept on until my alarm sounded for work.

That day I felt a tangible lightness in my heart, and a physical lightness in my body, I felt an inner glow of absolute joy, the one that comes with clarity, the one that comes with personal understanding, the one that comes with hope, and the one that comes with Love.

It was a really good day.

When the workday ended I was still smiling, felt strong and happy and in love with myself and life. I was feeling a little bit in awe of the ability I have to turn things around, almost on a dime, and choosing to find the joy in every moment.

I stopped at the store on the way home and bought a lottery ticket.

At home I wrote a huge heartfelt email to my friends to explain where I was now, today, after the bomb that was dropped the night before and that I was 180 degrees away from how I felt last night. The devastation had evaporated and I would continue forward with the same optimism I had before.

Then I wrote a similar email to the person who dropped the bomb.

That was two weeks ago.

Since that day, several things have happened, several amazing non-related things.

The ticket that I bought that evening after work – paid $1000!!! That’s the first big win I’ve had on a lottery ticket. And it reminded me that to hold the 30 million dollar ticket was as easy as holding this $1000 ticket. Very exciting AND symbolic! A ticket I bought that day – I knew that it was a direct response to the relief I had felt, a direct response to me turning around the devastation into a place of hope and faith that it will work out. Amazing!

A week after that, on a very significant date to me, I received a letter stating that my Citizenship application has moved ahead and I have been called in to take the Citizenship test!

This is something completely unexpected because when I followed up my application only a few months ago, the website said it would be at least – at least – another 36-48 months due to strike action. And I had just filled in the forms to renew my permanent residence status.

Amazing! Amazing how life will turn around when you allow it.

The feeling of relief, the feeling of KNOWING that everything will work out, allows things to work out.

It was a reminder to me that everything that I desire is coming to me, if I relax and trust that everything is coming. Perhaps not in the way I am pursuing, but it’s all coming.

One of my favourite quotes to repeat over and over when I’m turning around a feeling of despair into one of relief is Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”  Yes, these words are said by Dory in the movie Finding Nemo.

Whether faith and encouragement was the intention of the writer, doesn’t matter, that’s what it brings to me to think those words. In fact, the whole movie is uplifting and encouraging – I love it!

By not allowing this news to simmer and fester, by choosing to feel – really feel – that the universe will provide, and by allowing myself to find the relief in that knowledge, I allowed two very amazing things into my life. A nice lottery win, and my citizenship application to move forward (against all odds!).

Amazing!

That is how the universe works. That is how life works. Relax, and allow.

I allowed myself to reconnect with the love I have for myself, I allowed (within a few short hours even) the feeling of worthiness, the feeling of joy, the feeling of knowing that all is well and that it will work out in the end – even if it seems unlikely in this moment – and “life” responded with an Amen to that!

Another of my favourite quotes, also from a movie (I love movies!):
Strangely enough, it all turns out well…[how?]…I don’t know, it’s a mystery!” From Shakespeare in Love

Which is the same as this quote: “It will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, it’s not the end.”  (Note: author unknown to me, when I Googled it there were references to things I’ve never heard of, but no actual author)

If it’s not alright, it’s not the end.

Simple, no need to panic, just keep swimming, just keep swimming…!

I believe these quotes. I believe them with my very essence. They are how I live my life, and I will not allow anything to stop me believing that it will work out in the end.

It will.

It always has and it always does.

It seems to me that those moments where I have the choice between falling apart and finding a place that feels better (relief) by remembering who and why I am, and by focusing on what I want and why I want it, those are the moments that great change occurs.

Sure, we allow or disallow in every moment of every day, and sometimes it is just a gentle “stays the same” kind of allowing, allowing life to continue as it is and as we know it to be, perhaps with a little tweaking here and there. Those are the small things that we don’t notice so much and it’s easy to forget that we are choosing.

But the big things, the ones that hit us in the face and say, “well done you! You allowed this into your life, you are on the right track, stay with it, keep believing, keep swimming forward, you’re doing it!” those are the moments that feel amazing.

  • Well done you, here is $1000 – next time it could absolutely be 30 million, don’t stop believing.
  • Well done you, here is movement on your citizenship application, just as you’ve been dreaming… for years.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…!!!

Don’t stop believing, don’t stop finding that place within yourself that tells you – you are worthy, you are loved, you are safe, you are supported, you are the only one allowing or not. You can do this, you are doing this, life is good, and it will all work out.

It will.

I am a simple girl with simple beliefs – the most dominant of which is that Love is everything. So long as you are living with love in your heart and pursuing the things that you feel at any given time are in alignment with the love in your heart – then you can’t go wrong.

Now I have to go and study for my test…!

Warm smiles and Love,
Ali Jayne 🙂

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