The Seedy Side of Artificial Insemination

Artificial Insemination – The Who.

Well. This is where the whole Artificial Insemination decision gets a little weird and sometimes a little ugly, and the ugly was only on day four of navigating this option.

My first step was to re-watch “The Switch” with Jennifer Anniston and Jason Bateman. Such a beautiful movie, silly, funny, great supporting cast, it makes me laugh, it makes me cry, and there is a beautiful little person created from the Love of two friends.

Hollywood version out of the way, and my resolve sufficiently fluffed, my next step was to start the Google treadmill and see what I could find. Continue reading The Seedy Side of Artificial Insemination

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Artificial Insemination

Artificial insemination (AI) is the deliberate introduction of sperm into a female’s uterus or cervix for the purpose of achieving a pregnancy through in vivo fertilization by means other than sexual intercourse.

Insemination may be called in vivo fertilisation (from in vivo meaning “within the living”) because an egg is fertilized inside the body, and is thus essentially the opposite of in vitro fertilisation.
Excerpted from Wikipedia

I have decided to try to have a baby naturally.

Until this point in my life I have resisted this idea because I had an idealistic view of conception and wanted to only create life with someone I Love. Continue reading Artificial Insemination

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The Sainthood of Adoption

Saint-Virtuous-Person-a

Saint:

“Virtuous Person: a particularly good or holy person, or one who is exceptionally kind and patient in dealing with difficult people or situations.”

Sometimes I find it difficult to talk about adoption in public situations, with acquaintances, or people that I meet at a social gathering.

I feel uncomfortable with the “sainthood” with which they bestow upon me.

Comments like:

  • “Wow, that’s such an amazing thing you are doing.”
  • “It’s so wonderful that you feel able to give homes to children who need it.”
  • “What a great thing you are doing for those kids.”
  • “You are such a good person.”
  • “Those kids will be so lucky to have you.”
  • “You are so brave.”
  • “I could never do what you’re doing.”
  • “They deserve a good home.”

I realise these are all well-intentioned, well-meaning comments. I realise that it’s a different, uncommon topic that comes up and most people just frankly don’t know what to say. I understand where the comments come from… Continue reading The Sainthood of Adoption

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Adoption – The Missed Period

I had almost given up on having a family and children. Until earlier last year when I missed a period, it was almost 4 weeks overdue before it arrived.

In this time my mind went into overdrive:

  • After two days overdue (they are always on time) I started to daydream about being pregnant, especially when I’d had all the usual signs and symptoms that my period was coming in the week leading up to it,
  • after 4 days I started to allow myself to toy more with the idea,
  • after 7 days I allowed myself to start to believe it was possible,
  • after two weeks I was CERTAIN that we (the man in the story) had created a miracle (he’s been fixed, but a Google search rendered many a happy conception after “fixing”).

At that point I went to get a blood test; I was so certain that it was going to be positive I was buzzing with excitement. The doctor gave me a referral and I had the test done on a Saturday. Then I had to wait until Tuesday to get the results (small town, busy doctors).

Well, you all know the results… Continue reading Adoption – The Missed Period

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Adoption – Calling all Moms… I need advice!

When should I start putting my kids’ future first?

Quick note from Ali: Calling all Dads too! I don’t want to discourage those of you who are Dads out there from responding to this call!

As you know, I do not yet have children but am hoping to become a mom through adoption this year.

I am currently in the planning stages for a vacation with two of my best girlfriends in March.

The three of us currently live in three different countries and have not been together in the same space for 11 years!! Though we have been together two at a time over the years, and we have all continued to share our lives via email, Facebook, and Skype. We have been there for all of the ups and downs that life has thrown at us, and will likely be for life. We are family.

I am ecstatic about this “reunion” vacation and getting to hug my friends, laugh with them, see them in person, and drink some wine! It’s our “year-past 40th birthday celebrations” that we meant to have the year of our 40th birthdays last year and missed… due to life.

Here is my dilemma: Continue reading Adoption – Calling all Moms… I need advice!

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Adoption – First Home Study

Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

On the very same day that I submitted my Questionnaire, I sent a follow up email to ensure Theresa received it.

Subject: Questionnaire complete
Hi Theresa,
I dropped off my questionnaire for you today.
Please let me know if you have any questions, or need any clarification. Sorry about all of the “extra columns” and additional notes/comments…hope that’s OK… I like to play outside of the lines a little!
It feels a little vulnerable to have filled that in and submitted it. Actually I can only imagine what picture forms from reading it…  I don’t feel uncomfortable about any of it myself, but from the outside looking in I realise it can appear “difficult”.
I’ll look forward to hearing from you, and look forward to the “next step” when it is ready to go ahead.
Ali

Theresa responded the same day and I appreciate that about her so much, she never left me hanging.

Thanks Ali…
I have reviewed the questionnaire already;  most people definitely feel as you do;  it’s a very vulnerable state to be in;  someone looking at your past and seeing its role in your present and future.  I have been through the process myself so I fully understand.
Believe me, there was nothing shocking.
So, next step is to start the home study process.
I would suggest meeting at your place some day after work or a day off;  I can be flexible.
Thinking maybe 1-1/5 hours…just as a guideline.
Take care

I was glad that there was nothing shocking in my questionnaire, and that she let me know she’d been through the process herself. That was helpful in allowing me to relax and have faith that she would not judge me because I had a sometimes unstable upbringing.

This was good news. Continue reading Adoption – First Home Study

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Adoption – References

Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

References.

Point number three on the Adoption Application Form almost stopped me in my tracks.

A minimum of four references are required, including one from each of the following:

  1. an individual who has known the applicant(s) for a minimum of 2 years;
  2. an individual who has had an active association with the applicant(s) over the previous 6 months;
  3. an involved member of the applicant(s) extended family; and
  4. if there are any adult children living outside of the home, at least one of these children. (if there are no adult children, please include another reference from #2)

This was one of the things that made me feel like perhaps I shouldn’t get my hopes up. One of the references had to be a family member.

“an involved member of the applicant(s) extended family;”

Technically, I don’t have any family that I could ask. Continue reading Adoption – References

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