PUPO! in Olomouc

Olomouc in early morning fog…

I woke the day after transfer in Olomouc (pronounced: Olomotz) and felt….no different.

Of course, I was now officially considered Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise (PUPO), but I felt no different to the way I’d felt the day before, or the one before that.

This was a little disappointing, because I wanted to feel something that would “prove” to me that I was pregnant, Continue reading PUPO! in Olomouc

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Transfer Day – Part 2

March 30, 2017, continued…

Having communicated with my future little one in my journal, I was feeling calmer and ready for what was to come next… though still a bit disconnected.

Acupuncture:

L the acupuncturist arrived on time at 9am.

For some reason I stalled a bit getting to her. I guess things were starting to get real.

The hotel helped me stall, by making the elevator take forever. I was on the 7th floor, the top floor, and sometimes the elevator actually took 10 minutes to arrive. This was one of those times. I was grateful for the breather.

L was lovely, she took the time to explain things on the way up in the elevator and set my mind at ease when we got to the room, explaining again what to do. Take of your leggings (I was wearing a dress with leggings) lay on the bed, head at the foot. And she went to wash her hands.

That was a good sign, Continue reading Transfer Day – Part 2

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Transfer Day – Part 1

March 30, 2017 – Transfer Day – Olomouc, Czech Republic

How do I feel?

I wish I could say I was excited. I wish I was excited.

I don’t feel anything much at all really. It’s just another day. I woke at 5:30am to insert the Progesterone, dozed for another 45 minutes or so, then did my early morning Reiki session, followed by my morning dose of Estrogen, showered, went to breakfast, and now I’m here waiting for the Acupuncturist to arrive so she can do her thing.

Like a… well, I actually don’t know what… I’ve just adapted to the new normal. Continue reading Transfer Day – Part 1

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Hello from Prague!

After missing my connection in Paris, I finally arrived in Prague at around 8pm at night….unfortunately, my luggage did not accompany me and I was told by the luggage counter that it should make its way to Prague by lunchtime the following day!

Still in good spirits though – even with 24 hours of sleep deprivation and travel, missed connecting flights, bleeding scares, and missing luggage!

I owe a good portion of my spirits to S, the beautiful soul originally from Prague who lives in my condo building, and who happened to be visiting her mom in Prague at the same time as me!  Amazing right? Continue reading Hello from Prague!

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A missed connection and a little spotting

The day finally arrived to fly out of the country toward my destiny, or at least toward the Czech Republic where I was going to have an embryo transfer in the hope of having a baby.

That morning I went through the routine as normal; insert four progesterone balls, take the estrogen tablet, perform a Reiki session and a little meditation, snuggle with my kitty who I would miss terribly, shower, dress, and wait for the cat-sitter to arrive.

Then I was on the road, tunes playing, feeling a little bubble of nerves building within my gut.

I pushed those feelings away and focused on the road, on the drive.

Occasionally I’d allow my mind to wander and I thought not of the transfer, but of the result. I imagined my son or daughter in the back seat of the car, as a five year old, preparing to go for a vacation somewhere. I imagined talking with them, or singing to them, I imagined what it would feel like to be a  mom. Continue reading A missed connection and a little spotting

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A “go” for transfer

My next appointment was not with my regular doctor because he was away, I had to see someone else to get my test results.

When I made the appointment I’d asked to see my doctor’s wife, at his suggestion, but she too was not working that day. So I told the receptionist that I just needed results and any doctor would do.

She had said there was one doctor available, then said the doctor’s name so quietly I had to ask her to repeat it.

When she did, I said that would be fine. I’d never heard of this doctor but I just needed results…anyone would do!

There was a pause on the phone and then she said, “are you sure?” as though surprised. Continue reading A “go” for transfer

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Final ultrasound before transfer

This time I took the day off. The full bladder thing and all.

Plus, there was a time constraint.

I needed to get my results to the clinic in the Czech Republic before the end of the day, because it was Thursday in Canada, Friday in Olomouc, and I was scheduled to fly out of the country on Sunday. The results of this scan would determine if and when I was to start the progesterone.

I had to have a lining of at least 7mm or more. If I did not…well, I didn’t want to think about it. I was so close.

The full bladder… Continue reading Final ultrasound before transfer

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My Magnificent Body

I am feeling grateful for my magnificent body. A wondrous feeling!

On Friday, like clockwork, as expected my body produced the last period I will have before the transfer.

Earlier in the week I had a few moments of panic that I made the wrong decision to not use birth control to regulate my flow. Everyone online talked about using it to ensure the transfer date; even those who had regular periods without it, but it didn’t sit right with me. The BCP felt like a step in the wrong direction.

Even my doctor thought it might be a good idea to go on it, but I wanted to trust my body and do this as “naturally” as possible. I didn’t feel right about adding more drugs to the mix.

Perhaps my way of having control of the situation a little more!

Always comes back to control with me! Haha. Continue reading My Magnificent Body

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Am I mom material? Or am I a fraud?

One thing that is freaking me out most of all is that NO ONE is telling me this is a bad idea.

Not the Czech Republic part of the transfer, because a couple of friends have shown concern about this part of it.

But the having a baby part.

NO ONE has been unsupportive of this!

NOT ONE PERSON.

How is this possible?

And why does that make me feel so uncomfortable. Continue reading Am I mom material? Or am I a fraud?

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March Booking – Embryo Transfer

Booking for March Transfer

My flights are booked!

Emotions.

I have been approved as an adoptive parent through the Ministry (adoption from foster care) for 3.5 years, and with one failed match and no other matches, I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be “expecting”.

When I was first approved for adoption, I made announcements, I was giddy with excitement, I was full-throttle about courses, and internal work to become “ready”. Then as the months turned into a year and one year turned into more years, it all seemed more like a hazy dream, rather than something imminent.

For the first year or so, the people to whom I’d made announcements used to constantly check in on me, “Any news?”… until they stopped. Continue reading March Booking – Embryo Transfer

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