Screaming for help!

“Help! Please. Somebody. Help ME!” I screamed for a about five minutes on repeat before anyone came.

Part One:

On August 29, 2016, I broke and dislocated my elbow.

It was a Monday, and I’d created a long weekend for myself by taking an extra day off work to do with as I pleased.

I love taking Monday’s off; they feel more like a day off than any other day to me.

I’d woken relatively early and, as I watched the morning mist clear, I decided to skip all the other plans I had for the day, domestics – cleaning, laundry, shower & hair wash, etc… and decided to go up the Sea to Sky Gondola to walk one of the trails.

I remember that as I dressed, I debated whether I should have that shower first, wash my hair, then go. It had been three days since I’d washed my hair and normally I wouldn’t consider going out on the third day without washing first.

Instead, I mocked my vanity and pulled my hair into a ponytail. This is something I would regret for days and days, nine days in fact. Continue reading Screaming for help!

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Crisis outweighs heartbreak

respect-acceptance-and

Not for the first time in my life has a crisis outweighed what could have been a heartbreaking experience for me.

Crisis outweighs Heartbreak. 

A good friend, someone I considered up and in line with my best of friends, “broke up” with me.

He decided that our differences were too cavernous for his liking and he needed to distance himself from those differences.

The result:  Continue reading Crisis outweighs heartbreak

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The face before she laughs

A few weeks ago I sent a belated birthday card and letter update to my mom.

I couldn’t find the address to where she is currently living so I Googled it.

Clicking through the website for the retirement home to find the mailing address brought me to a page where my mom’s face is a part of the banner at the top of the screen.

I stopped and stared.

I know that face. Continue reading The face before she laughs

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Two year approval anniversary

Two years ago Saturday I was approved as an adoptive parent. My home study was signed off by me and the team leader at the Ministry of Child and Family Development and I was approved.

Two years. It feels like a lifetime ago. Continue reading Two year approval anniversary

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Hiatus

Every-day-we-start-anew

Taking a hiatus.

Another way of saying withdrawing into a slump of hopelessness.

Followed, of course, by the journey back to a place where hope dwells.

I remember years ago, in my early 20’s, I had started seeing my bio-dad again. He was sick (MS), had been all my life, and I found it emotionally challenging to spend time with him. Continue reading Hiatus

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The coil at the end of the rope

When-I-accept-that-there

Last weekend during a three hour yoga workshop I connected with the feeling that I’ve been holding too tightly to outcomes in my life.

And I – again – realised that when I feel as though my life is spinning out of my control, I hang on to whatever idea that feels like a lifeline as though it is indeed a lifeline.

Not only do I hold onto this idea, but I defend it, protect it, and nurture it so vehemently that I often don’t see it is nothing more than a rope, the end of which is sitting at my feet, coiled, not actually attached to any solution. Continue reading The coil at the end of the rope

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The Blanket Exercise

Once-again-I-felt-the

Saturday I participated in an Early Child Development Conference workshop entitled “The Blanket Exercise”.

This was an interactive workshop about the history of First Nations people in Canada, with particular emphasis on First Nations people in BC.

There were many First Nations participants, one First Nations facilitator, and several First Nations elders from the local band.

Most of the people present had been a part of Continue reading The Blanket Exercise

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My town or adoption

Entrance - front

These are my choices right now: to stay in my town, or to adopt and start a family.

Yes, burgeoning house and rental prices are forcing me to choose between adoption or the town that I have called home for over 10 years, a town that I love, a town in which I have established a great network of friends, become involved in many community groups, and learned to play drums with the local pipe band.

In the past 18 months, and especially in the past 12 months, house prices have soared well out of my affordable range. Not only purchase prices, but rental prices too. Continue reading My town or adoption

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Almost healed and free!

Greyson is almost healed and free from the bedroom! I’m so proud of my little furry healing machine!

At our last vet appointment the Dr. told me that the bone has fused nicely and that he believes that his bone is now as strong as any other in his body.

All that is left to do is to help him rebuild the muscle in that leg.

What a relief.

It took me a few days to trust his words, Greyson was still limping, still doing what my friend calls “the little dancer” where he sticks his leg out to the side whenever he’s standing still, and still stretching every chance he can. Continue reading Almost healed and free!

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What I learned as a caregiver…

What I learned while caring for the broken

During the first few weeks of care for Greyson, I learned so much about my little fur-baby and his personality.

Most interesting though, is what I learned about me and my personality. Continue reading What I learned as a caregiver…

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