Adoption: Matching Event Part 2

The-right-match-is-out

As mentioned on Monday in the post Adoption: Matching Event, where I outlined what an event is about and how it works, I am now posting my own personal feelings/experiences about the event last week.

Firstly I want to say thank you to the event organisers, facilitators, presenters, fellow families, and to my social worker for recommending that I attend. I am grateful.

I got to meet some remarkable people. The fellow expectant and hopeful parents, all of whom had interesting stories, including a single mom who I had met and conversed with online prior to the event and was fortunate to meet her in person at the event. Along with the many social workers who were profiling children in their care. It was great to meet them all and get a feel for their take on the process and adoption in general. It was also nice to freely talk about adoption with other like-minded people.

On a personal note, I drove onto the ferry for the first time by myself – which gave me a bit of a thrill that always comes with a “first” experience. Plus the whole journey was a wonderful getaway – driving from Nanaimo to Victoria through towns I’d only ever heard of and never seen with my own eyes, staying in a lovely hotel for the night and reading half of a new novel (always a great feeling!), attending the event and experiencing growth and new understanding while meeting some awesome folks who share the same desire to grow their family through adoption.

I was also fortunate enough to top the getaway off by spending the night with another friend (also a fellow single mom) and her family. Reinforcing an already solid friendship and expanding it into one that I hope will remain strong for many years to come. (Thank you L (and M)!  A wonderful night of talking, laughter, and friendship… your hospitality, thoughtfulness, and openness was so greatly appreciated.)

My Personal Experience at the Event:

As mentioned in the post on Monday, there was only one child profiled during the day that stood out to me, and she was definitely out of the parameters I had set up as my “ideal” family situation. Continue reading

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Adoption: Matching Event

we-all-know-our-levels

I attended a matching event last Friday and I was not really certain what to expect.

What is a ‘Matching Event’?

This was an event hosted by the Ministry in partnership with Choices (a private adoption agency) where the professionals in adoption and the parents hoping to adopt come together in one room and present some of the children they are wanting to place (adoption professionals), or present themselves as potential parents. It’s a day of back-to-back presentations and an opportunity to network.

My social worker had let me know what she had experienced in the past with matching events she had attended. Her advice: “put your assertive pants on and talk with all of the social workers.” Continue reading

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This was your choice…

Life-is-sometimes

I shared this article by Sarah Hitchcock from Parent Dish in the UK, about what adoptive parents wish their friends and family understood, with a support group of pre-and-post-adoptive parents.

One of the responses I received was this:

“The one thing that I have found is that it is difficult to talk to family and friends about any difficulties I may be having…”

Because they often got this response:

“You must have known it wouldn’t be easy adopting a teenager.”

To me that statement seemed to be leaving an unspoken ending to the likes of, “so shut your pie-hole about your problems.Continue reading

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Two becomes…none.

I-learn-from-thisThe adoption of H & B has fallen through.

Fallen through appears to be the accepted term.

What happened…?

Last week I had commented in my reply to an email with the foster mom (we’d been in constant two-day email contact for weeks), that after speaking with H’s therapist I still felt that I was trying to piece together three different jigsaw puzzles of the one child.

“There seems to be something missing because none of the pieces fit to make a whole?” I’d said. Continue reading

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How do you deal with the personal prying questions?

I-had-a-total-Ally

It has been highly intriguing the difference in reactions to my adopting an older child vs. a younger child.

Some reactions from people have made me feel urm… strong emotions.

Here is the general response to my adopting an 18 month old: Continue reading

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Adoption foundation = grief and loss

It’s easy to forget that all adoption is built on a foundation of grief and loss.

I know that as I head into the next month of pre-placement visits and ultimately the placement of the two little girls that I am going to call my own, it’s very easy to get caught up in my own excitement and forget that these two little girls are going to lose – again – everything that they know to be theirs. Continue reading

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My final Thanksgiving alone

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians!

Thanksgiving2

Thanksgiving is not something that is celebrated in Australia, and therefore, Thanksgiving is not a holiday that was a part of my upbringing.

While I’ve been in Canada for 11 years now, Thanksgiving is still not a holiday I have shared with others.

There has never been a shortage of invites, and this weekend was no exception, however, because it’s one I’ve never celebrated – it feels like something I would like to celebrate for the first time with my own family. Continue reading

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Grade 3 teacher extraordinaire!

I attended my first parent/teacher evening at the school that I think H will be attending.

I had emailed the school the day before to ask if I could attend, and was told absolutely yes! I was invited to check out the four grade 2/3 classrooms, meet the teachers, and stay for the 7:30pm introduction and talk from the principal.

As I pulled up to the school just before 7pm, there was a line of cars all vying for the scarce parking spaces. I managed to find the last one in the row, and noticed the three cars behind me having to pull out onto the road again and try the other entrance.

Parents and children were filing out of their cars and into the school through the front doors. I followed suit. Continue reading

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Three becomes Two

On September 23, 2014, I accepted a proposal to adopt H and her youngest sister B!

I’m going to be a mom!

As mentioned briefly in my last post, it was decided that H would be better paired with her youngest sibling rather than the middle two. There were several reasons for this change. Continue reading

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Adoption Transitions…too fast?

Sink or Swim – the world of fast transitions…

As I’m rounding the corner into parenthood through local adoption from foster care, I have asked the question of those who have gone before me if they felt pressured into a swifter transition than they were expecting.

A resounding “YES!” was the reply. Continue reading

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