Should I become a foster mom?

The-foster-parents-I (1)This is a question I have asked myself since the very first conversation I had about adoption nearly 3 years ago. The person I was talking with was a foster care social worker and encouraged me to consider foster care as well as adoption.

She told me about the large need for foster homes in my community, which I have to admit, surprised me. I live in a relatively small town, with a relatively ‘small-town’ mentality (everyone knows someone who knows everyone), and it had never occurred to me that there would be a need for foster parents so much as to be a lack of them.

At that time becoming a foster parent didn’t appeal to me except as a possibility for the distant future, though I will admit, I didn’t know much about foster parenting, nor had I met a foster parent (at least not knowingly).

Since then, Continue reading

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Post-Kitty Depression

IMG_0468In my last post I was excited about the kitty that I just brought home, Earl Grey.

Earl Grey has now become “Greyson” because he didn’t really answer to Earl, but seems to like and fit his new name Greyson pretty well. Perhaps he is the “son” of the Earl of Grey. :)

While we have now found our groove, I will admit that a little of the “shine” wore off a few days after I brought him home and I started to feel depressed, sometimes even weepy. Continue reading

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Meet The Earl

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On Friday I brought home a furry four legged little man named Earl Grey, a.k.a. The Earl, a.k.a. Earl, a.k.a. Lord Grey, a.k.a. Buddy, a.k.a. Love Bug, a.k.a. You Are Such A Good Boy, a.k.a. Love-bug, a.k.a. My Little Snuggle-Buns.

Yep…He is pretty awesome!

Pretty AND Awesome…!…Look at those big green eyes!

He was named at the SPCA and while most people who I’ve talked with have immediately aligned the name Earl Grey with the tea of the same name, I can tell you now he is way too regal to be compared with a mere tea… he is definitely a Lord in stature and in nature! Continue reading

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Adoption Networking Event

Foremost, I want to say a huge thank you to the organisers for creating a memorable day. It was exactly what I was hoping for in a matching event, and was a well-presented, well-organised day.

Events-like-this-take

The event overall:

The thing that I think all of the parents in the room were most thankful for, myself included, was the ability to see children’s profiles, see photos, see video, hear their voices, and hear personal stories from those who know and love them.

This is absolutely invaluable to prospective parents. Continue reading

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Pre Adoption Networking Event

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This week I am going to an Adoption Networking Event on Thursday, June 4 in the city.

An Adoption Networking Event is another name for a matching event, where social workers showcase some of the children under their care who are waiting for adoptive families, and pre-adoptive families showcase themselves.

It is also, as the name suggests, a chance for parents and social workers from around BC to get together and network.

My social worker has let me know that as a pre-adoptive parent with the unsteady upbringing, some poor choices along the way, and my current single status, is it much better for someone to meet me and form an opinion, than reading a 10 page file on my life so far. Continue reading

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Single parents

Recently there was an article circulating the adoption forums about single parents being a second choice vs. couples in adoption.

The article starts, “There’s little doubt about it, the chances of adopting if you are single are slimmer than for couples. This not only affects single people, it also means that children miss out on a loving, committed parent.”

It goes on to say that Continue reading

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The feel of a newborn

new babyLast week my friend and co-worker gave birth to a precious little baby girl :)

Little K.E. joined her family on May fourth and became little sister to two year old A.J. Both parents are ecstatic to have two healthy, happy, little girls in their family. And I am overjoyed for them.

While I have only known my friend for a little over a year, we seemed to be kindred spirits and hit it off from that very first meeting. She feels like family, and that makes her family also feel like family.

I was privileged to be a part of this pregnancy pretty much from the day after they decided to start trying for their second child. I was also privy to the news of the pregnancy as soon as they found out and I had to keep the secret right along with them, until it was time to share it.

I got to watch her grow and change and go through the motions (like sickness) and emotions (like tears), and the whole experience has been an incredible honour for me in ways I’m not certain I have the vocabulary to share.

Especially as someone who may never get to experience the gift of creating life within my own body. Continue reading

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Alone in the end

Last night I watched a movie where the father (who was also a grandfather), died. It wasn’t the focal point of the movie, but it was a significant part of the story.

It made me think about my own parents, and cry buckets of tears.

The man in the movie had his family rallying around him in the end, even his son who hadn’t seen him for many, many years showed up for his last dying moments.

I was not there for, or even aware of, my dad’s passing, and I likely won’t know of my mom’s either until after it happens. Continue reading

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Magic, Miracles, and other Wonders

During the past few weeks, coincidentally (or not), while I was on vacation I reconnected with that feeling that everything in my life is coming together in perfect harmony.

What a relief!

When I relax, when I let go of how my desired outcome should happen, when I start focusing on what I have that makes me feel happy and joyful and grateful, AND, when I stop focusing on what is missing, when I stop feeling like a victim of circumstances out of my control (on both a small scale, say a traffic light going red when I’m late…or a much larger scale), when I focus on imagining the ways in which life could work out for me and then I back it up with the ways in which life has already worked out for me…

Then “miraculous” things start happening. Continue reading

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Adoption – Staying Open

Staying-open-can-beOne of the challenges in this adoption process is staying open to the possibilities and not closing your heart after the first (or second, or third, or fourth) heartbreak.

I struggled with this for a few months after the planned placement with H&B fell through. At first I tried to tell myself I was OK, because the decision was mine to step back and say “this is not a good match for anyone involved” and I felt it was a good decision, the right decision.

What I didn’t expect at that time was that eventually the loss of the dream of the family I imagined we would be would catch up with me, and I would feel grief. Continue reading

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