My evening as a sitter

Last week I babysat for two wonderful kids, a boy aged 7, and a girl aged 4 (nearly 5 – as she told me all night!).

It’s been about 5 years since I babysat kids that age.

I arrived at 5pm and the kids were hiding in the closet…playing of course! I brought pizza with me and that lured them out as it is one of their favourite foods! (good choice!) Continue reading

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Adoptive Parents Support Groups

Although I am not yet an adoptive parent, I knew that as a single mom I would need the support of good people in my community. And even more so as a single mom to a ‘child from hard places’, as Dr Karyn Purvis would say, I would need support from people who understand adoption.

There was no support group in the town where I live, but there were many adoptive and pre-adoptive parents – both in my town and the surrounding areas.

So I created an online Facebook group for adoptive parents in our local area, and it has blossomed into a support group both online and in person.

The first two in-person gatherings last year were small affairs, with only seven adults and three children at the first one, and five adults and three children at the second.

We had the third get-together on Sunday and there were 11 adults and seven children! Continue reading

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Adoption Resource Exchange

Last week I wrote a post in response to the Global News Unfiltered report about the BC Government’s consideration of an “Alberta-style” website being opened up to the general public showcasing children waiting for adoption.

Further to that I have spent time this week trying to gain information about the Adoption Resource Exchange that was mentioned in the interview and was suggested to be an existing site in BC for adoptive parents by invitation only.

Now perhaps it was wishful thinking on my part, as there was no actual mention of this being a “site” just that it was a resource open to approved parents by invitation. However, as the news report was about a website being created for the general public, it stood to reason that the resource mentioned was also a website.

As soon as I heard about this resource open to approved parents by invitation I emailed my social worker to ask her for more information and to get an invitation. Continue reading

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Adoption reform – please give us access!

I-am-so-selfsufficientThis news report by Global News has been shared across Facebook this week.

The report is about how Alberta has a website that is accessible to the general public and profiles the harder to place children in an effort to attract the right families.

This has been a successful website for the last 12 years (!) in Alberta and has resulted in many of the children profiled being placed, or many new applications from potential parents being matched with other children waiting for homes. The report states that Alberta has also been profiling a child each week on TV in their Wednesday’s Child program for the past 32 years!

The BC Ministry for Child and Family Development  (MCFD) is currently considering Continue reading

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The Sainthood of Adoption

Saint-Virtuous-Person-a

Saint:

“Virtuous Person: a particularly good or holy person, or one who is exceptionally kind and patient in dealing with difficult people or situations.”

Sometimes I find it difficult to talk about adoption in public situations, with acquaintances, or people that I meet at a social gathering.

I feel uncomfortable with the “sainthood” with which they bestow upon me.

Comments like:

  • “Wow, that’s such an amazing thing you are doing.”
  • “It’s so wonderful that you feel able to give homes to children who need it.”
  • “What a great thing you are doing for those kids.”
  • “You are such a good person.”
  • “Those kids will be so lucky to have you.”
  • “You are so brave.”
  • “I could never do what you’re doing.”
  • “They deserve a good home.”

I realise these are all well-intentioned, well-meaning comments. I realise that it’s a different, uncommon topic that comes up and most people just frankly don’t know what to say. I understand where the comments come from… Continue reading

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Celebration of Life

I went to a Celebration of Life this past weekend.

My friend’s husband went to sleep one night and did not wake up. He was in his 40’s and she is in her 30’s.

Listening to his closest friends and his family talking about the man he was in life and the man he was to them individually was deeply moving.

It made me think about the shortness of life, the fragility, the necessity to seize every moment and make it the best you can make it.

The time we have on this earth is, for the most part, unknown.

Some people choose their exit consciously, sure, but most of us go along in our day-to-day business as though we have unlimited time.

And even when we’re aware that our time is getting shorter – such as reaching a milestone age like: 30, or 40, or 50, or 60, and so on, we still feel that our time is at least more than today, more than tomorrow, more than this week, or this month, or this year.

The result is we live life accordingly, as though Continue reading

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Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

I feel as though I’ve been gone from this blog forever…. I’m sorry for the disappearance… or is that avoidance?

My greatest indicator that I’m not feeling myself, or terribly positive, is when I shy away from the truest part of myself… my writing.

It hasn’t just been my blog…but my journal entries too. There were days over the Christmas/New Year break where I didn’t even turn on my computer, let alone write something… that is about as “depressed” as I get.

Writing is by far my happiest place. I write daily, whether it be a journal entry, a blog post, an article, or a heartfelt email to a friend. So to not do it for days on end… that’s when I know something is up with me. And it shows in my overall attitude toward life.

December used to be my favourite month, especially since I moved to Canada with winter in December and the added possibility of snow… Continue reading

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Happy Birthday

Last week I had a birthday…

Last week H also had a birthday.

Although I had been told not to contact her foster mom any more, I couldn’t let her birthday go without sending something to say I was thinking of her.

I’d been planning on being there for it. We were going to work together, her foster mom and I, to make her party a success.

I felt bad that I wasn’t there, and sad that I wouldn’t get to be.

Her foster mom replied to my email and said that she was glad I’d reached out and that she was still hoping I would change my mind.

I wish that were possible.

If only. Continue reading

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Aboriginal Adoption Online Training Course

Adoption Online (AOL) Training Course:

Aboriginal-Online-Course

This course run by the Indigenous Perspectives Society is one I have recommended again and again to families who are either thinking about adoption or have adopted. And yet, I realised I have never posted a review about it.

This is what it says on the website about the course:

Welcome to the Aboriginal Pre-Adoption online training course (AOL). This course is delivered over an 8-week period, accessible 24 hours a day, requiring approximately 3-5 hours a week participant time commitment. AOL is a flexible self-paced and asynchronous engaging course delivered via IPS’s Moodle learning management system. The training is applicable for caregivers (pre/post adoptive parents, foster parents) social workers, interdisciplinary professionals and to anyone working in the field of Aboriginal/Indigenous child and family service delivery. We can easily modify AOL to suite your specific needs.

The AOL course identifies historical and contemporary impacts of colonization and the regeneration of positive culture identity development. The learning from the activities will support a commitment to creating and maintaining connections through promoting holistic well-being of Indigenous children.

This course for pre-(or post, I believe)-adoptive parents is funded by the MCFD (i.e. free to you) so contact your social worker and ask to be included in the next round.

Prior to this course I didn’t really know much at all about Aboriginal history in Canada (or anywhere else for that matter) Continue reading

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A moment of self-reflection

I-am-ready-to-open-my

This past weekend I have taken a step back from the position of “expectant mom” and just rested in being who I am right now; reconnecting with me.

One thing that has stood out to me is that I had stepped up my “need to control” a notch after getting ready to be a mom to H & B, mentally, emotionally, and physically (as best as I could) preparing to join with them in family… and that family not working out. Continue reading

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