Two becomes…none.

I-learn-from-thisThe adoption of H & B has fallen through.

Fallen through appears to be the accepted term.

What happened…?

Last week I had commented in my reply to an email with the foster mom (we’d been in constant two-day email contact for weeks), that after speaking with H’s therapist I still felt that I was trying to piece together three different jigsaw puzzles of the one child.

“There seems to be something missing because none of the pieces fit to make a whole?” I’d said. Continue reading

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How do you deal with the personal prying questions?

I-had-a-total-Ally

It has been highly intriguing the difference in reactions to my adopting an older child vs. a younger child.

Some reactions from people have made me feel urm… strong emotions.

Here is the general response to my adopting an 18 month old: Continue reading

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Adoption foundation = grief and loss

It’s easy to forget that all adoption is built on a foundation of grief and loss.

I know that as I head into the next month of pre-placement visits and ultimately the placement of the two little girls that I am going to call my own, it’s very easy to get caught up in my own excitement and forget that these two little girls are going to lose – again – everything that they know to be theirs. Continue reading

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My final Thanksgiving alone

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians!

Thanksgiving2

Thanksgiving is not something that is celebrated in Australia, and therefore, Thanksgiving is not a holiday that was a part of my upbringing.

While I’ve been in Canada for 11 years now, Thanksgiving is still not a holiday I have shared with others.

There has never been a shortage of invites, and this weekend was no exception, however, because it’s one I’ve never celebrated – it feels like something I would like to celebrate for the first time with my own family. Continue reading

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Grade 3 teacher extraordinaire!

I attended my first parent/teacher evening at the school that I think H will be attending.

I had emailed the school the day before to ask if I could attend, and was told absolutely yes! I was invited to check out the four grade 2/3 classrooms, meet the teachers, and stay for the 7:30pm introduction and talk from the principal.

As I pulled up to the school just before 7pm, there was a line of cars all vying for the scarce parking spaces. I managed to find the last one in the row, and noticed the three cars behind me having to pull out onto the road again and try the other entrance.

Parents and children were filing out of their cars and into the school through the front doors. I followed suit. Continue reading

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Three becomes Two

On September 23, 2014, I accepted a proposal to adopt H and her youngest sister B!

I’m going to be a mom!

As mentioned briefly in my last post, it was decided that H would be better paired with her youngest sibling rather than the middle two. There were several reasons for this change. Continue reading

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Adoption Transitions…too fast?

Sink or Swim – the world of fast transitions…

As I’m rounding the corner into parenthood through local adoption from foster care, I have asked the question of those who have gone before me if they felt pressured into a swifter transition than they were expecting.

A resounding “YES!” was the reply. Continue reading

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With an open heart I evolve…

I didn’t post last week because I have been moving through so many emotions that made me feel like I should perhaps take a step back… a self-inflicted form of censorship really. I was scared to process too much online before I was feeling a sense of clarity again.

And now I feel I want to share some of that journey…

I received the proposal package a few weeks ago for the eldest of the three girls that may become my children as mentioned in the post “Paint the walls Pink!“.

H is the only child so far that has been cleared for adoption and so I received the proposal package for her alone.

Some of the information contained within the package was interesting, Continue reading

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My Heart is My Guide…

Since being approved as an adoptive parent, my heart has been open – wide open – raw and sensitive to everything around me.

My heart is my guide.

When I was considering the townhouse to purchase, I was still feeling uncertain that it was a positive “kid-friendly” complex even after a second viewing. I was not yet sold. As I stood outside the building with my realtor who asked me whether I wanted to put in an offer, and I was telling her I wasn’t certain and inside I was thinking “I need a sign, it’s too much; I’m so confused.”

At that exact moment, seven kids went burling past on their bikes… the littlest one at the back of the pack yelled out “H! Wait!” calling out the name of my potential future daughter!

A bubble of laughter rose within me and I said, Continue reading

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Adoption Community – One Love, One Heart…

I remember when I first started the adoption process and I was crying at the smallest gestures of love, of beauty, of nature. I was so open, so raw, so ready.

Then the process took it’s time and it was not really about “kids and family” anymore it was about therapy, courses, books, interviews, and getting to the “approval” stage.

Of course, that part of the process was a necessary part, a practical part, and I learned so much, not only about myself and the parent I want to become, but about children in care and skills for effective parenting. It has been invaluable.

But now the focus is back to the kids and creating a family and I’m feeling Continue reading

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