Home Study – first draft

Becoming a parent through adoption is not for the faint of heart.

There are so many times that this process will test your desire to become a parent through this channel. The process will push you and pull you and prod you and challenge you – and if you’re still standing at the end, then maybe you have the gumption it will take to become a parent to children who have been through a lifetime of experiences already.

I’ve often wondered if the entire process is set up for this reason, to weed out the weak-willed, the uncertain, the light-weights, so that only the sturdy, certain, committed remain.

These kids will need the kinds of parents with staying power and perhaps that is the point…

Home Study – the first draft…

Reading through your life history as written by someone else is bizarre. Continue reading

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Finding A Family – A Hallmark Movie

I wrote the review below of this foster care movie back in March of this year. And in the past couple of weeks, I watched the movie again.

What is wonderful for me, watching it a second time around, was that this time I felt less “like the boy” and felt more compassion for the whole situation. I was no longer angry at the mother for being unable to care for him, or at the boy for continuing to love her.

It was still a sad movie, and I still cried for the boy, for the situation, and for myself – but there was less anger at the people involved and more compassion this time around.

This is great news as it is likely that I will have contact with members of my child’s birth family, and I had wondered how I would fare with the things I would learn and the emotions I would feel. From a ‘distant’ perspective of right now in this time and place I feel that I will have compassion, Continue reading

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AEP Greater Understanding…New Questions

As I round the corner into the final leg of this 12 week course, I feel that I have a greater knowledge base on adoption, on what to expect, on the issues that the children may have faced, on the emotions that they will be having regardless of how smooth or positive their experience beforehand, and of the adoption process…

However, in some ways I find myself with even more questions and even less certainty.

Let me rephrase that.

I am certain I want to adopt, perhaps even more certain now at the end of the course than I was in the beginning.

What I am less certain about, Continue reading

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Happy Canada Day!

 I am Canadian.

It feels nice to be able to say that and today marks my very first Canada day as a Canadian citizen.

So much has happened in the last 11 years since I first set foot on Canadian soil, I’ve backpacked, lived in hostels, met and travelled with amazing people from all over the world. I have worked at some interesting and crazy jobs far out of the field of expertise with which I arrived.

I’ve been on crazy adventures that make me shake my head and smile as my mind says, “I did that”.

Some of the greatest highs of my life have been here in Canada. Some of the deepest lows too.

Canada is the place where I opened my heart and lived – really lived – courageously, outrageously, and, yes, sometimes selfishly, out loud. Continue reading

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Homeschooling and Adoption

Lately I am hearing that many adoptive parents choose to home-school their child/ren.

The Adoption Education Program (AEP) that I am currently completing has shown several videos interviewing parents, or interviewing families, and out of the video footage shown and the parents represented – over half are home schooling.

I find that interesting as the program has been created with the sole purpose of preparing pre-adoptive parents for adoption and all that adoption entails.

Perhaps I read too much into things, (perhaps!), but I feel that when I’m doing a course on a subject, and there is a recurring message then it’s wise to listen, consider, and ask questions. Continue reading

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FASD – 10 second child in a 5 second world…


“A ten second child in a five second world”

This is the quote I recently heard from a parent who was trying to describe children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).

Some parents I know have suggested it is more like a thirty minute child in a five second world, and that is really a good example of the vast and varying spectrum that is FASD. With a range from mild to extreme.

No two cases are the same, though most are similar in their symptoms. A great resource for a clear look at FASD and the symptoms is this page on the AFABC website.

We delved further into how this disorder affects children this week during the AEP course module on prenatal exposure and I found some of the information shared surprising.

Such as: Continue reading

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Your 10 Favourite Things: An exercise in understanding


Your 10 Favourite Things: An exercise in understanding children in care.

Right now, take a moment to think about your 10 favourite things in this life as it stands today.

These “things” could be people, places, pets, objects, pets, etc, whatever you would consider your 10 favourite things. Continue reading

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Surname update


As happens with all questions that linger in your mind, the answer seems to come in surprising and delightful ways…

Last week I posted how I felt conflicted about giving my surname to my future children because I no longer have contact with my stepfamily.

At an annual community event I met a little girl who changed my perspective and like a little angel gave me the answer that I had been seeking. Continue reading

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How do you pick a surname?


What is a surname anyway? Does it need to have a love connection to who you are today?

So much of our everyday lives are identified by our surname, how connected should we be to that name and does it “identify” who we are as people?

Here’s my question: Is it wrong to use a name that is no longer lovingly connected? Continue reading

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ReMoved – A Review

This powerful and confronting short film (of just under 13 minutes) shows a deeply moving insight into foster care through the eyes of a child.

I was first introduced to this short film through a single parent adoptive support group on Facebook and the people who shared the film, or made comment, mentioned that it was well done from the point of view of the children they had seen or been involved with in the foster care system.

A social worker I spoke with about the film, mentioned that this was a great insight into a mild case of disruption, but that sadly many others are not so lucky – their journey is not just two transitions, but multiple transitions and disruptions spanning years.

ReMoved the film: Continue reading

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