Adoption Community – One Love, One Heart…

I remember when I first started the adoption process and I was crying at the smallest gestures of love, of beauty, of nature. I was so open, so raw, so ready.

Then the process took it’s time and it was not really about “kids and family” anymore it was about therapy, courses, books, interviews, and getting to the “approval” stage.

Of course, that part of the process was a necessary part, a practical part, and I learned so much, not only about myself and the parent I want to become, but about children in care and skills for effective parenting. It has been invaluable.

But now the focus is back to the kids and creating a family and I’m feeling that same raw, open-hearted, vulnerability.

I see families walking down the street, I cry. I watch a TV show with families, I cry. Someone is kind to me, I cry!

My eyes are open to families everywhere, to the tender moments between parent and child, to the absolute beauty and majesty of life around me, and I often find myself tearing up for the simple joy of living, and for the future unfolding.

Some truly beautiful moments have happened for me recently, and I’ve connected with some wonderful people.

Last week I went to one of our local hardware stores to get a quote on bathrooms and was told to come back the next day and talk to a specific store clerk. When I went back and saw her, she asked if it was just going to be me in the house and I replied, “no, I’m adopting” …well, she almost ate me up…! Continue reading

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Paint the walls Pink!

Waiting for a Proposal…

…Package that is…

A proposal package for what might just be my three children.

That’s right, three.

Get all of the “Gru” jokes out of your system now…  OK, are you done?

  • Yes, I’m single.
  • Yes, I’m a first time mom.
  • And yes – I just might be crazy.

But this opportunity came up, and right after another group of three that I was actually starting to consider. There were a few little things that made me uncomfortable about the other group, though I was still considering it, and I feel like it was the little nudge I needed to “grow” in my heart and mind enough to consider three at all. It was the “prep-work” for this next step.

Because when I’d reached a place where I had internally said “OK Ali, why not three?” that one fell through, and almost immediately this one came up.

Three girls.  Continue reading

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Home Study – Approved!

One week ago today, my home study was signed off and I was officially approved as an adoptive parent!


I want to thank my wonderful social worker for all of her encouragement, support, guidance, advice, acceptance, and the words of hope and wisdom she constantly shared with me. I feel so grateful that she is the one who is walking with me as we have journeyed from the first meeting to approval, and who will continue to walk with me as we move toward matching and placement.

Thank you for helping me to become approved to become a mommy!

What a year this has been!

When I went in to sign the papers, my social worker already had four sibling group profiles for me to consider (each one consisting of two children).

I ruled out one group right away based on the information she had, and we put my name forward for the other three.

None of these groups may work out, but it is exciting (and a little overwhelming) to imagine that I might soon be a mom to two or more children!

And so the matching process begins…! Continue reading

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Home Study – first draft

Becoming a parent through adoption is not for the faint of heart.

There are so many times that this process will test your desire to become a parent through this channel. The process will push you and pull you and prod you and challenge you – and if you’re still standing at the end, then maybe you have the gumption it will take to become a parent to children who have been through a lifetime of experiences already.

I’ve often wondered if the entire process is set up for this reason, to weed out the weak-willed, the uncertain, the light-weights, so that only the sturdy, certain, committed remain.

These kids will need the kinds of parents with staying power and perhaps that is the point…

Home Study – the first draft…

Reading through your life history as written by someone else is bizarre. Continue reading

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Finding A Family – A Hallmark Movie

I wrote the review below of this foster care movie back in March of this year. And in the past couple of weeks, I watched the movie again.

What is wonderful for me, watching it a second time around, was that this time I felt less “like the boy” and felt more compassion for the whole situation. I was no longer angry at the mother for being unable to care for him, or at the boy for continuing to love her.

It was still a sad movie, and I still cried for the boy, for the situation, and for myself – but there was less anger at the people involved and more compassion this time around.

This is great news as it is likely that I will have contact with members of my child’s birth family, and I had wondered how I would fare with the things I would learn and the emotions I would feel. From a ‘distant’ perspective of right now in this time and place I feel that I will have compassion, Continue reading

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AEP Greater Understanding…New Questions

As I round the corner into the final leg of this 12 week course, I feel that I have a greater knowledge base on adoption, on what to expect, on the issues that the children may have faced, on the emotions that they will be having regardless of how smooth or positive their experience beforehand, and of the adoption process…

However, in some ways I find myself with even more questions and even less certainty.

Let me rephrase that.

I am certain I want to adopt, perhaps even more certain now at the end of the course than I was in the beginning.

What I am less certain about, Continue reading

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Happy Canada Day!

 I am Canadian.

It feels nice to be able to say that and today marks my very first Canada day as a Canadian citizen.

So much has happened in the last 11 years since I first set foot on Canadian soil, I’ve backpacked, lived in hostels, met and travelled with amazing people from all over the world. I have worked at some interesting and crazy jobs far out of the field of expertise with which I arrived.

I’ve been on crazy adventures that make me shake my head and smile as my mind says, “I did that”.

Some of the greatest highs of my life have been here in Canada. Some of the deepest lows too.

Canada is the place where I opened my heart and lived – really lived – courageously, outrageously, and, yes, sometimes selfishly, out loud. Continue reading

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Homeschooling and Adoption

Lately I am hearing that many adoptive parents choose to home-school their child/ren.

The Adoption Education Program (AEP) that I am currently completing has shown several videos interviewing parents, or interviewing families, and out of the video footage shown and the parents represented – over half are home schooling.

I find that interesting as the program has been created with the sole purpose of preparing pre-adoptive parents for adoption and all that adoption entails.

Perhaps I read too much into things, (perhaps!), but I feel that when I’m doing a course on a subject, and there is a recurring message then it’s wise to listen, consider, and ask questions. Continue reading

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FASD – 10 second child in a 5 second world…


“A ten second child in a five second world”

This is the quote I recently heard from a parent who was trying to describe children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).

Some parents I know have suggested it is more like a thirty minute child in a five second world, and that is really a good example of the vast and varying spectrum that is FASD. With a range from mild to extreme.

No two cases are the same, though most are similar in their symptoms. A great resource for a clear look at FASD and the symptoms is this page on the AFABC website.

We delved further into how this disorder affects children this week during the AEP course module on prenatal exposure and I found some of the information shared surprising.

Such as: Continue reading

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Your 10 Favourite Things: An exercise in understanding


Your 10 Favourite Things: An exercise in understanding children in care.

Right now, take a moment to think about your 10 favourite things in this life as it stands today.

These “things” could be people, places, pets, objects, pets, etc, whatever you would consider your 10 favourite things. Continue reading

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