Screaming for help: Part Three

This post follows directly from Part Two

My reluctant driver friend arrived at the designated time with the pillow as requested. He got out and helped me into the car as I’d warned in a text message I would likely need.

We set off.

He asked a few questions about why I wasn’t in an ambulance today as it appeared to him I should have been. I did not know the answer.   Continue reading Screaming for help: Part Three

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Crisis outweighs heartbreak

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Not for the first time in my life has a crisis outweighed what could have been a heartbreaking experience for me.

Crisis outweighs Heartbreak. 

A good friend, someone I considered up and in line with my best of friends, “broke up” with me.

He decided that our differences were too cavernous for his liking and he needed to distance himself from those differences.

The result:  Continue reading Crisis outweighs heartbreak

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The face before she laughs

A few weeks ago I sent a belated birthday card and letter update to my mom.

I couldn’t find the address to where she is currently living so I Googled it.

Clicking through the website for the retirement home to find the mailing address brought me to a page where my mom’s face is a part of the banner at the top of the screen.

I stopped and stared.

I know that face. Continue reading The face before she laughs

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The Blanket Exercise

Once-again-I-felt-the

Saturday I participated in an Early Child Development Conference workshop entitled “The Blanket Exercise”.

This was an interactive workshop about the history of First Nations people in Canada, with particular emphasis on First Nations people in BC.

There were many First Nations participants, one First Nations facilitator, and several First Nations elders from the local band.

Most of the people present had been a part of Continue reading The Blanket Exercise

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Mom Triggers

Even with adoption no longer feeling imminent, every part of my life I try to translate into a lesson I can learn to either understand my potential future adopted children, or I can use to help them through their own tough times. (and maybe even help me become a good mom!)

Last week was my birthday.

And what would a birthday be without a mom trigger? Continue reading Mom Triggers

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Post-Kitty Depression

IMG_0468In my last post I was excited about the kitty that I just brought home, Earl Grey.

Earl Grey has now become “Greyson” because he didn’t really answer to Earl, but seems to like and fit his new name Greyson pretty well. Perhaps he is the “son” of the Earl of Grey. 🙂

While we have now found our groove, I will admit that a little of the “shine” wore off a few days after I brought him home and I started to feel depressed, sometimes even weepy. Continue reading Post-Kitty Depression

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Pre Adoption Networking Event

I-am-just-quietly-hoping (1)

This week I am going to an Adoption Networking Event on Thursday, June 4 in the city.

An Adoption Networking Event is another name for a matching event, where social workers showcase some of the children under their care who are waiting for adoptive families, and pre-adoptive families showcase themselves.

It is also, as the name suggests, a chance for parents and social workers from around BC to get together and network.

My social worker has let me know that as a pre-adoptive parent with the unsteady upbringing, some poor choices along the way, and my current single status, is it much better for someone to meet me and form an opinion, than reading a 10 page file on my life so far. Continue reading Pre Adoption Networking Event

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Alone in the end

Last night I watched a movie where the father (who was also a grandfather), died. It wasn’t the focal point of the movie, but it was a significant part of the story.

It made me think about my own parents, and cry buckets of tears.

The man in the movie had his family rallying around him in the end, even his son who hadn’t seen him for many, many years showed up for his last dying moments.

I was not there for, or even aware of, my dad’s passing, and I likely won’t know of my mom’s either until after it happens. Continue reading Alone in the end

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Adoption – Staying Open

Staying-open-can-beOne of the challenges in this adoption process is staying open to the possibilities and not closing your heart after the first (or second, or third, or fourth) heartbreak.

I struggled with this for a few months after the planned placement with H&B fell through. At first I tried to tell myself I was OK, because the decision was mine to step back and say “this is not a good match for anyone involved” and I felt it was a good decision, the right decision.

What I didn’t expect at that time was that eventually the loss of the dream of the family I imagined we would be would catch up with me, and I would feel grief. Continue reading Adoption – Staying Open

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Occupational Therapy

The Occupation of Living

Last week I attended a webinar on Occupational Therapy in Adoption through the Adoptive Families Association of BC (AFABC).

Before attending the webinar I didn’t really know what an Occupational Therapist (OT) did, or that they also worked with children and not just adults.

I had thought that an “Occupational” Therapist only worked with those of us who had a job…or an “occupation”. Continue reading Occupational Therapy

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