Monthly Archives: October 2013

Adoption – Single Parent

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

Is a Single Parent enough?

Like many expectant mothers, I am analyzing everything I do now, everything I believe now, I’m imagining future scenarios and future conversations with my children at various stages of their life – and at various ages.

I’m wondering if I am truly equipped to be a mom.

Am I ready enough? Sane enough? Stable enough?

Good questions right!?

And the big one:

Is it selfish to take children away from a potential two-parent family?

(That’s the one that always gets me) Continue reading →

Adoption – When I was a child

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

“When I was a child…”

I was talking with some friends the other night, and one of the guys was asking me about the process of adoption.

While we were talking we got onto the subject of children that hadn’t been cuddled as they were growing up, who didn’t know affection or love from their parents.

The guy scoffed and said, “My parents didn’t hug me when I was a child, and I turned out OK.  What about you?…” directing his question to the rest of the people at the table.

The whole table erupted at once. Continue reading →

Adoption – Maternal Instinct

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

To say I always wanted to be a mom would be a lie.

My relationship with my physical abilities as a female to create life has been a long and slow acceptance.

I am a romantic soul at heart and the creation of life was my most romantic notion of all. It was something I did not want to do until I was completely, fully, 100% in love – for the rest of my life in love – with the man of my dreams.

In my youth the thought of becoming pregnant terrified me. Not only would people know I’d had sex, but I’d get fat, and I’d have a baby at the end of it. The whole thing was horrifying. Especially the part about people knowing I had sex. I would see pregnant women with their husbands and think ‘ew, they had sex to make that happen, grosse‘.

I was a little immature about it you might say!

When I started dating my ex-husband in my late teens, his family all had children young. Three generations of late-teen-early-20’s mothers and they wanted me to join the ranks. I still remember telling his grandmother after what felt like the umpteenth time we’d had that conversation that “my mother was 35 when she had me and I plan to wait until then.”

They stopped pestering me for fear that I was serious. I was. Continue reading →

Adoption – First Home Study

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

On the very same day that I submitted my Questionnaire, I sent a follow up email to ensure Theresa received it.

Subject: Questionnaire complete
Hi Theresa,
I dropped off my questionnaire for you today.
Please let me know if you have any questions, or need any clarification. Sorry about all of the “extra columns” and additional notes/comments…hope that’s OK… I like to play outside of the lines a little!
It feels a little vulnerable to have filled that in and submitted it. Actually I can only imagine what picture forms from reading it…  I don’t feel uncomfortable about any of it myself, but from the outside looking in I realise it can appear “difficult”.
I’ll look forward to hearing from you, and look forward to the “next step” when it is ready to go ahead.
Ali

Theresa responded the same day and I appreciate that about her so much, she never left me hanging.

Thanks Ali…
I have reviewed the questionnaire already;  most people definitely feel as you do;  it’s a very vulnerable state to be in;  someone looking at your past and seeing its role in your present and future.  I have been through the process myself so I fully understand.
Believe me, there was nothing shocking.
So, next step is to start the home study process.
I would suggest meeting at your place some day after work or a day off;  I can be flexible.
Thinking maybe 1-1/5 hours…just as a guideline.
Take care

I was glad that there was nothing shocking in my questionnaire, and that she let me know she’d been through the process herself. That was helpful in allowing me to relax and have faith that she would not judge me because I had a sometimes unstable upbringing.

This was good news. Continue reading →