Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series… ATTACHMENT IN ADOPTION THREE-PART SERIES – Part 3 (Read Part 1 here, or Part 2 here) Online course offered by AFABC Presented by Andrea Chatwin, MA, CCC Hosted by Erin Melvin, AFABC Rider: My … Continue reading
Category Archives: Process
Adoption – Courses – Attachment part two
Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…
ATTACHMENT IN ADOPTION
THREE-PART SERIES – Part 2
Online course offered by AFABC
Presented by Andrea Chatwin, MA, CCC
Hosted by Erin Melvin, AFABC
Rider: My notes here are written as the sessions flowed for me and are about the subjects that caught my attention. These sessions and discussions were often driven by the course participants and their questions. If you are considering this course, I would recommend doing all three sessions so as not to miss out on information that might be raised by another participant and an “a-ha” moment for your situation.
Session #2
One of the things that Andrea opened with was the acknowledgement that there has been a lot of changes in the knowledge and research in the last few years by psychologists. Letting us know that while the information that we have today is the forefront of understanding it is constantly changing and we should keep up with new developments.
I was glad she mentioned this, as I often struggle with the idea of a “conclusive finding” when everything in this world is constantly changing, growing, evolving, and becoming more.
Trauma and the brain:
Adoption – Courses – Attachment part one
Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…
ATTACHMENT IN ADOPTION
THREE-PART SERIES
My first online course
I attended this online three part series on Attachment, and will share my notes and thoughts with you over four posts: sessions one, two, three, and a conclusion based on what I learned most from the sessions. I hope you enjoy.
Online course offered by AFABC
Presented by Andrea Chatwin, MA, CCC
Hosted by Erin Melvin, AFABC
Rider: My notes here are written as the sessions flowed for me and are about the subjects that caught my attention. These sessions and discussions were often driven by the course participants and their questions. Because of this, if you are considering this course and are uncertain whether to complete the full series or a portion, I would recommend doing all three sessions so as not to miss out on information that might be raised by another participant and an “a-ha” moment for your situation.
Session #1
History & Behaviours
The first session was interesting and a lot of what was discussed seemed like common sense to me.
When I mentioned this very thing to a good friend of mine he pointed out to me that for many people while the information IS common sense, sometimes you have to hear it to remember it. He went on to say, that often people who know this information and even live it on a daily basis, also don’t “connect” these principles and ideas in their day-to-day lives without being reminded that they are on the right track. Very wise my friend; very true, and thank you for the reminder. 🙂
History:
Adoption – Second Home Study
Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series… The Second Home Study Full-disclosure. Rape, Alcohol, Pot, Sexual History, Relationships… The second home study came a few weeks after the first, and I felt a little less nerve-wracked than the first time… but … Continue reading
Adoption – First Home Study
Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…
On the very same day that I submitted my Questionnaire, I sent a follow up email to ensure Theresa received it.
Subject: Questionnaire complete
Hi Theresa,
I dropped off my questionnaire for you today.
Please let me know if you have any questions, or need any clarification. Sorry about all of the “extra columns” and additional notes/comments…hope that’s OK… I like to play outside of the lines a little!
It feels a little vulnerable to have filled that in and submitted it. Actually I can only imagine what picture forms from reading it… I don’t feel uncomfortable about any of it myself, but from the outside looking in I realise it can appear “difficult”.
I’ll look forward to hearing from you, and look forward to the “next step” when it is ready to go ahead.
Ali
Theresa responded the same day and I appreciate that about her so much, she never left me hanging.
Thanks Ali…
I have reviewed the questionnaire already; most people definitely feel as you do; it’s a very vulnerable state to be in; someone looking at your past and seeing its role in your present and future. I have been through the process myself so I fully understand.
Believe me, there was nothing shocking.
So, next step is to start the home study process.
I would suggest meeting at your place some day after work or a day off; I can be flexible.
Thinking maybe 1-1/5 hours…just as a guideline.
Take care
I was glad that there was nothing shocking in my questionnaire, and that she let me know she’d been through the process herself. That was helpful in allowing me to relax and have faith that she would not judge me because I had a sometimes unstable upbringing.
This was good news. Continue reading
Adoption – My Questionnaire
Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…
Once all of the references came back, the police check was cleared, and the forms I’d submitted were processed, it was time for the “next step”…
The Questionnaire.
This is a questionnaire about my background, my family, my upbringing, my relationship with my parents, my parents relationship with each other, and about how I was raised.
Theresa emailed me and said:
Wow Ali, your information has come in fast and furious…
I have all references, criminal record check (clear) and physicians report
So, step 2 – Questionnaire #1:
You need to read, complete and submit back to me the Questionnaire 1 form. Would you like to grab it at the office or i can email it to you…please let me know. It shouldn’t take you too long to complete…
Once it is completed and I take a look at it, we can set up our first home visit…
Part of my insides were screaming, “whoa, this is too fast, too soon, we need the whole year to relax into this and be completely ready before we surge forward.” The other part of me that loves to compete with myself said, “woo-hoo, we’re already at step 2 and she said we’re fast!”. Continue reading
Adoption – References
Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…
References.
Point number three on the Adoption Application Form almost stopped me in my tracks.
A minimum of four references are required, including one from each of the following:
- an individual who has known the applicant(s) for a minimum of 2 years;
- an individual who has had an active association with the applicant(s) over the previous 6 months;
- an involved member of the applicant(s) extended family; and
- if there are any adult children living outside of the home, at least one of these children. (if there are no adult children, please include another reference from #2)
This was one of the things that made me feel like perhaps I shouldn’t get my hopes up. One of the references had to be a family member.
“an involved member of the applicant(s) extended family;”
Technically, I don’t have any family that I could ask. Continue reading
Adoption – Required Forms
Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…
Following on from the previous post, I felt this information might be helpful to others who are reading along and thinking about adoption…
The required forms were as follows:
- The Application to Adopt – a five page document that is about you. Your work history, cultural/racial heritage, belief systems, interests, financial standing, medical history, upbringing, and references.
- The Adoption Questionnaire – this is a two page questionnaire about the children that you would like to adopt. It asks questions like age, race, religion, disabilities the child may have, and the types of backgrounds they may come from (experiences they may have encountered in their short, sometimes uncomfortable lives). This form comes with a booklet of explanations on some of the health issues and mental challenges listed to assist you to make your choices.
- Then there were two or three other forms, that were one page forms giving consent for things like criminal records check, and consent to collection and disclosure of information.
When I say that the forms that are required to be considered as an adoptive parent candidate are not as scary as I had imagined, I feel as though I have a little authority on this matter – as an immigrant to Canada I had to fill in A LOT of forms to become a citizen (starting with a working visa, then permanent residency, then citizenship). So in comparison, the forms for adoption are a piece of cake!
Of course, you do still need to know where you lived for the last five years, where you worked, what your income and expenses are, and you will need to write a little about your spiritual beliefs and how you might want to raise your children. But with a little thought and attention you can easily fill in The Application to Adopt form in under an hour.
The Questionnaire was a little trickier, Continue reading
Adoption – First meeting with my social worker
Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…
Theresa had given me her email address the night we met at the Adoption Information Session to get in contact with her about a follow up meeting, and I emailed her the very next day.
Hi Theresa,
Thank you for holding the information session yesterday evening. And please thank Jennifer and Sally too.
As mentioned last night, I would like to explore adoption (and possibly foster care) and am interested in talking about the process and the next steps. If you have some time in the next few weeks to get together I would greatly appreciate it.
Here are the times I have free and I hope something will gel for us both!
· Monday 10 June
· Monday/Tuesday 17 & 18 June
· Friday 21 June (after 4pm)
· Mon-Fri 24-28 June (after 4pm)
Please let me know if any of these times work for you.
In the meantime, I will have a look at the websites you highlighted.
Thank you again,
Ali
I am not certain if this is the way others do it, maybe other people just get the information, fill in the forms and be done with it.
I needed to discuss the paperwork, the process, get a feel for the social worker first and see if this was a process that I trusted and that I wanted to follow through. I wanted more information and guidance, but more than anything I wanted encouragement, support, and assurance.
This meeting was important to me. Continue reading