Category Archives: Expectant Mother

Adoption – Courses – Attachment part one

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

ATTACHMENT IN ADOPTION

THREE-PART SERIES

My first online course

I attended this online three part series on Attachment, and will share my notes and thoughts with you over four posts: sessions one, two, three, and a conclusion based on what I learned most from the sessions. I hope you enjoy.

Online course offered by AFABC
Presented by Andrea Chatwin, MA, CCC
Hosted by Erin Melvin, AFABC

Rider: My notes here are written as the sessions flowed for me and are about the subjects that caught my attention. These sessions and discussions were often driven by the course participants and their questions. Because of this, if you are considering this course and are uncertain whether to complete the full series or a portion, I would recommend doing all three sessions so as not to miss out on information that might be raised by another participant and an “a-ha” moment for your situation.

Session #1

History & Behaviours

The first session was interesting and a lot of what was discussed seemed like common sense to me.

When I mentioned this very thing to a good friend of mine he pointed out to me that for many people while the information IS common sense, sometimes you have to hear it to remember it. He went on to say, that often people who know this information and even live it on a daily basis, also don’t “connect” these principles and ideas in their day-to-day lives without being reminded that they are on the right track. Very wise my friend; very true, and thank you for the reminder. 🙂

History:

Continue reading →

Adoption – A safe haven

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

Discovery Kids Castle – A safe haven

Let me start this post by saying, this year did not feel like Christmas to me. (sorry for the negative start!)

Now there may have been something in the water because many people in my town voiced this same sentiment without any prompt or comment from me first.

Several things come to mind about why this might be.

  • We had no snow this year, only rain, which made it seem more like fall or spring than winter (still does).
  • I missed the Christmas Parade this year because I was away, and the parade is always a good start to Christmas.
  • I had a cold – and so did almost everyone in my town! A cold is never a fun way to spend the holidays.

As an expectant mother now, knowing that I’m months away from approval as an adoptive parent, knowing that “this time” next year I could be a mom, made this Christmas seem like a bit of a letdown.

Sure, I’ve been on my own for a few years now so being alone at Christmas was not the issue, I actually adore time on my own and Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year. I love all the glitz and sparkles and lights and trimmings. I always still put up a tree, wrap gifts for friends underneath the tree, watch terrible Christmas movies, sing Christmas songs (love Christmas music!), make a small turkey dinner with all the extras, eat Christmas cake and too many chocolates while sipping hot eggnog and rum. I adore Christmas.

And I still did all of that this year too but felt a little “ho-hum” about it.

One thing I did do that surprised me and made me feel a little excited for what is to come, was I bought my future kids a Christmas gift… Continue reading →

Just Do You – Bonus Post with Download

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Just do you – bonus post with download!

I wanted to leave you with some positive thoughts while I’m gone for the first few weeks of December, and in that timely way that the Universe does, a friend sent me this list of “Things to Remember” (see below).

I also made it into a PDF (here: Things to Remember) so that you can pull up and print off to read it each day. (It now lives beside my computer at work, along with a beautiful Mark Nepo poem I might share someday…)

It was an email, forwarded through workstations around the world, and sadly I do not know who to credit for this list. However, these are great things to remember and I feel that in sharing them the author will be rewarded with the love it evoked within me and within you as well 🙂

There are so many great points to remember on this list, and all of them resonate with me on a level that makes my heart go “YES!”, but my favourite among them is this very simple one: Continue reading →

Off the grid

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Off the grid…! From Tuesday 3 December until Thursday 12 December I will be off the technological communication grid! There will be no tweets, no likes, no posts, no blasts, no emails, no texts, no phone calls. It’s my birthday … Continue reading →

What could you achieve in 10 years if you started today?

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It’s been a whirlwind week and I apologize for the lack of posts on the usual topic of impending adoption and parenthood.

However, if you will humour me – I have spent an inordinate amount of time this week thinking about the topic of my heading.

What could you achieve in 10 years if you started today?

Gaining Citizenship last week was an incredible feat for me. It is the first thing in my entire life that I’ve really wanted to achieve and followed through on the achieving of it – even though it took a long time.

It’s the first time I have ever set out with the hope of achieving something, kept my faith that I would achieve it, allowed people and situations to come into my life to help me achieve it, leapt forward with blind faith (sometimes pure arrogance) toward the goal even when the end was not in sight, filled in every form, took passport photo after passport photo as per the requirements, and showed extreme patience waiting for the end result.

And it paid off.

Here is a bit of a timeline on my Citizenship journey for interest: Continue reading →

Adoption – Second Home Study

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series… The Second Home Study Full-disclosure. Rape, Alcohol, Pot, Sexual History, Relationships… The second home study came a few weeks after the first, and I felt a little less nerve-wracked than the first time… but … Continue reading →

Adoption – A Clean Slate

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series… A Clean Slate I feel as though I’m seeing the world through new eyes, I’m noticing things around me that I never noticed before from the perspective of a parent, I’m delving into myself … Continue reading →

Adoption – Single Parent

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

Is a Single Parent enough?

Like many expectant mothers, I am analyzing everything I do now, everything I believe now, I’m imagining future scenarios and future conversations with my children at various stages of their life – and at various ages.

I’m wondering if I am truly equipped to be a mom.

Am I ready enough? Sane enough? Stable enough?

Good questions right!?

And the big one:

Is it selfish to take children away from a potential two-parent family?

(That’s the one that always gets me) Continue reading →

Adoption – When I was a child

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Expectant Mother – Adoption Journey Series…

“When I was a child…”

I was talking with some friends the other night, and one of the guys was asking me about the process of adoption.

While we were talking we got onto the subject of children that hadn’t been cuddled as they were growing up, who didn’t know affection or love from their parents.

The guy scoffed and said, “My parents didn’t hug me when I was a child, and I turned out OK.  What about you?…” directing his question to the rest of the people at the table.

The whole table erupted at once. Continue reading →