Time to De-Clutter…

I attended a 3 hour yoga workshop for the root chakra on Sunday (I’ve signed up to a weekly class delving into one chakra at a time) and to begin we started with a “check in”.

Our amazing instructor first gave us an outline of what the root chakra is for: grounding, security, stability, self-esteem, family, it is said to be the primal instinct, our fight or flight response… and then she went on to express her evolvement with this chakra over the years.

While I was listening to her and the others in the group talk about why they were here and what they hoped to achieve, I started to feel my answer to the question formulate.

I realized that this workshop was perfect timing (as is the case when you’re paying attention!) to the way I had been feeling of late.

I’ve been feeling scattered.

Not completely in a bad way, not completely unfocussed, more the feeling of rushing forward with so many great things on the horizon and no clear connection to any one thing or to how to get there.

Scattered.

Yes, that’s a good description.

What I expressed when it was my turn at the check in was that I was feeling like there are so many amazing things coming into my life this year, I feel on the precipice of much forward motion, and while I am excited about the direction my life is taking – I feel scattered, and definitely scared that maybe it’s too much and I wont be able to do it all.

During the rest of the class I let that thought go and asked for the grounding that we were activating with the root chakra to help me find a clear vision of how to make my scattered and sometimes fearful thoughts work together to create the change and the future I so desire.

When I got home from the class, I sat for a little while and just meditated on what I wanted to do with the rest of the day.

De-clutter.

That was the word that popped up again and again.

It was time to listen.

I took a good look around my living space and really acknowledged all of the clutter I have collected. Things I’ve never used, things I will never use, things that I don’t even know what purpose they have (!!), a lot of “things” taking up space – physically and metaphorically.

And dust! Have you ever been behind your TV or in amongst those cables to every electrical item? There are complex cities being built in those dust collections, some little dust construction company is making a fortune back there!

My mind felt akin to the fuzzy coating underneath those cables; once clear and purposeful, now layered with a coating of muck.

For a moment I felt overwhelmed – there is too much and it’s not really using my time to work on the things I want to achieve…is it?

Taking a deep breath I told myself, “Yes! This is a forward motion to all that I want to achieve. The clutter is reflective of my scattered mind, it is time to clear it out and create the environment that matches my desires.”

And so I set myself one task for that day. De-clutter my workspace (I don’t yet have an office just a corner of my living room), that was all.

Free up the place I spend most of my time and I have collected some unnecessary trinkets – along with an enviable dust housing complex behind my monitor and amongst my cables!

It took me a few hours to sort through the papers I needed, recycle the ones I didn’t, file everything left standing, and remove the trinkets collected from around the place to make it a clean, clear, fresh space.

It was amazing to me that once I completed that task, I felt lighter of mind as well as body (except my feet which felt super heavy, a side effect of the root chakra yoga class actually and a whole other story!).

I felt calmer, clearer, and ready to start plotting my goals for this year, ready to make a plan on how to achieve them.

I wrote a daily goal, and then a goal for this week. Just one week so as not to overwhelm myself with the fear of the distant future.

I also made an appointment with myself for Saturday morning to sit and write another weekly plan with a plan for the month of February, and if that feels ok to do to continue to write an overview of this year ahead.

This is something that feels really important to me right now and I don’t want to let my fears get in the way. Baby steps.

Baby steps to create a future for my future family. It’s likely I will be approved as an adoptive parent this year and it’s possible that will mean I will get to meet and have my children placed with me this year – that’s a huge change in my life… and I feel it coming. It both terrifies and delights me all at once.

Tumultuous as it is, and I am scared, I feel ready to courageously continue to move toward that goal of becoming a loving mom, and to move toward all of my goals.

The time to start is now. The time to start living the life that I’ve always wanted to live is now. There is no time like the present.

Yes, the cliché’s help me feel less skittish!

Interesting to note – Chinese New Year, The Year of the Horse:

In talking with a friend of mine, who follows the Chinese New Year and the philosophies surrounding Chinese Astrology, told me that this feeling of wanting to prepare for the year ahead and the feeling that there is so much I COULD achieve this year, is connected to the Year of the Horse. She explained that the scattered feeling is the ‘crossover’ between the Year of the Snake and the Year of the Horse.

Horses and snakes don’t generally go too well together right? I guess that makes sense from the symbolic visualization of the two.

While I don’t profess to understand much about Chinese Astrology, she did tell me that the Year of the Horse is a year of continual forward motion: sometimes at a leisurely lope, sometimes at a high-speed gallop, and other times it is a skittish dance around a perceived movement in the grass!

The key, she tells me, is to hold your seat, keep your eyes on the horizon, and your vessel (the horse) will take you there.

She went on to say this can potentially be a very successful year for those who harness the “horse power” and make it work for them.

Whether what she said is accurate or not, doesn’t really matter – at the time she told me it was exactly what I needed to hear about how I was feeling and the success I hope to generate this year.

A Healthy Start!

There is still a way to go for de-cluttering my living space, my mind, and my life, but I felt like this was a great start for me.

I came away from the weekend with an uncluttered workspace, a healthy outline of what I want to achieve on paper with the beginnings of my short-term goals and a promise to consider my long-range goals, and the feeling that there is “nothing in the grass” and I can safely step forward.

How about you, are the horse and snake crossover making you feel skittish? Or have you had your own feelings of forward motion this January that are making you feel like you want to de-clutter your life?

I’d love to hear your thoughts,

Warm smiles and Love,

Ali Jayne 🙂