Lately I am hearing that many adoptive parents choose to home-school their child/ren.

The Adoption Education Program (AEP) that I am currently completing has shown several videos interviewing parents, or interviewing families, and out of the video footage shown and the parents represented – over half are home schooling.

I find that interesting as the program has been created with the sole purpose of preparing pre-adoptive parents for adoption and all that adoption entails.

Perhaps I read too much into things, (perhaps!), but I feel that when I’m doing a course on a subject, and there is a recurring message then it’s wise to listen, consider, and ask questions.

Unfortunately, or fortunately whichever way you view the situation, the answers I am receiving leave me with more questions.

Within the Single Adoptive Parents forum I am a part of, several parents have mentioned choosing home schooling also, and here are some of the comments they made as to why they chose this route:

• “I started home schooling for the purposes of attachment right after placement, and after so many months with my child excelling at home with me, it just seemed right to continue.”
• “There were not sufficient supports available through the school and my child was struggling to learn in that environment.”
• “The public school system was not set up, in my area, to support or educate a child with FASD so it just made sense to teach him at home.”
• “I wanted my child to succeed and I seemed to be the only one who had the time or inclination to make that happen.”

Note: All of those that commented mentioned the enormous benefit home schooling provided in the attachment process after adoption.

These comments were only representative of the single parents from this forum, however, all of the videos I’ve seen of home schooling parents through the AEP course have been two parent families.

The connecting factor for ALL of the adoptive families that are choosing to home school (that I have come across) is that their child has Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) in varying degrees of severity.

As the majority of children in the Ministry’s care awaiting adoption also have this diagnosis, it is likely that any children I am matched with will have FASD to some degree.

Therefore, as this is a recurring theme in the AEP and on the adoptive parents forum, is this something I need to consider for my future too?

Adoption is definitely more complex than I’d imagined.

Not from the application point of view, although that part of the process has had its moments, but from the emotional and personal things to consider in parenting children who have been through ‘the system’ point of view.

Home schooling appears to be potentially one more consideration, one more complexity that I need to factor into my preparations for the future.

As with many of the other questions I have asked during this adoption process, the answers are compassionate, yet vague at best. I find myself with many questions and no satisfactory answers – as someone who likes a complete answer when I have a clear question!

The reason for this is that we are talking about young human beings, and no two human beings are the same.

There is no singular hard and fast answer because everything is dependent on the children with whom I am matched and their individual needs.

The most helpful answer I have received so far is to “plan for everything“. Well, thank you for that pearl of wisdom! I am doing my best!

Home schooling, in BC at least, seems to take on one of two forms: Distributed Learning and Home Schooling. The BC Ministry of Education site provides a breakdown of the difference between the two at this site:

http://www.bced.gov.bc.ca/dist_learning/dl_vs_homeschool.htm

This is a brief outline of the two as taken from the BC Ministry of Education site:

Home Schooling:

• register at a public or independent school
• deliver instruction at home
• exercise complete independence and control over their children’s education
• may use any learning resource of their choice, and
• are not obligated to follow provincially prescribed curriculum.

Distributed Learning:

• may learn at home
• are enrolled in a public or independent distributed learning school
• are obligated to meet prescribed learning outcomes in Provincial or Board/Authority Approved courses
• must use only learning resources recommended by the Ministry of Education or approved by the Board or Authority
• if enrolled in an independent school, may use religious materials as part of their educational program
• must have a teacher certified by the BC Teacher Regulation Branch leading their educational program, including assignment and assessment of activities
• are issued formal progress report cards by the DL school, and
• participate in provincial assessments (Foundation Skills Assessment and provincial examinations).

My research so far shows that there are small grants provided for home schooling in the form of a purchase order to be spent on educational equipment, tools, and activities – a great resource I found about this was this site:  http://thecanadianhomeschooler.com/2012/04/canada-homeschool-laws-bc/

The funding is by no means a “teacher’s salary” and that leads me to ask a question that is most pressing for me as a single person who currently works full-time and would like to be open to anything that my adoptive children may need in the future…

How do these parents do it? How does a single parent do it?

How does a single person survive as a stay-at-home mother and home schooler to their children – financially?

I earn a pretty decent salary through my job, and even still I am aware that with two children, a larger place to live – meaning higher rent – additional living costs of food, clothing, schooling, extra activities, etc… I will be on a pretty tight budget.

And, while I intend to utilise the full allocation of parental leave when I adopt, and I hope and pray that we will survive during this time on the very small amount of funding that EI provides for parental leave combined with my current savings, I cannot fathom – yet – how to be a full-time at home mother and teacher beyond that 9 month allocation.

• Perhaps there are grants of which I am currently unaware?
• Perhaps there is funding or support for home schoolers that I have not yet discovered in my research – over and above the school supply funding?
• Perhaps all of these single parents – and coupled parents even – have a nest egg to fall back on, or a doting rich Aunt somewhere who pays the bills?

Note: Any “doting rich Aunt’s” in need of a family to support, please send me a message and I will be happy to adopt you also into our family – you will be welcomed at Christmas, Birthdays, and all other holidays!!! 🙂

Financial questions aside, I realise that the question I should really ask myself about this topic is: Do I want to be a full-time SAHM who home schools her children?

And to that, I answer…perhaps! Or more aptly, whatever my children need.

So many questions with no solid answers – other than the feeling of readiness to take the next step, dive into parenthood and see where it leads us.

How about you? Do you have any experience with home schooling? Do you have any thoughts on how to do this financially? Any other advice around this topic?

I’d love to hear from you…

Warm smiles and Love,

Ali Jayne 🙂