This powerful and confronting short film (of just under 13 minutes) shows a deeply moving insight into foster care through the eyes of a child.

I was first introduced to this short film through a single parent adoptive support group on Facebook and the people who shared the film, or made comment, mentioned that it was well done from the point of view of the children they had seen or been involved with in the foster care system.

A social worker I spoke with about the film, mentioned that this was a great insight into a mild case of disruption, but that sadly many others are not so lucky – their journey is not just two transitions, but multiple transitions and disruptions spanning years.

ReMoved the film:

It briefly shows the life of that child before removal from the home. Her father (or mother’s boyfriend?) is abusive to the mother and the girl. It shows her mother’s inability to be a parent to the girl and her baby brother, but also shows that the little girl still adores both parents and want’s their approval.

The girl, who is approximately 7 or 8 years old is the main parent to her brother: she is feeding him – sharing the small amount of food she has with him – dressing him, likely bathing him and changing his diapers too.

We see the father being abusive to the mother, belittling her, slapping her, making her feel worthless, and we see the girl watching all of this unfold. At one point she even tries to interrupt the abuse and is chased by the father out of the house, slung over his shoulder, and we see her the next day with a black eye and cut lip.

Her life at school is very different to the other kids. She is isolated, hurting. We see her shame on school photo day, the tears roll down her face as the photographer snaps photos of her bruised face and matted hair.

Which makes me furious because no one is offering her any love and support.

The movie then follows the point of removal from the home, I hope after the school reported her black eye, in the middle of the night where the father is arrested.

One thing that stood out for me about the arrest was that the young girl runs out of the house in the opposite direction to where the police are taking the father and the mother runs out of the house seconds later, heading toward the father and NOT after her scared 8 year old daughter.

Imagine what that does to the mind of a child who is the second choice below the abusive father in her mother’s eyes.

So painful to watch.

The movie goes on to show that the baby brother does not go with the girl and she is devastated about losing him the most. She is all he has, she has been his parent and he has been her most loving family member to date.

Watching her vulnerability as she is placed in a foster home for the first time, was gut-wrenching. And then the foster home is unsuitable – unstable and abusive.

She is again removed from her new home – all of her worldly possessions filling one half of a garbage bag.

Her next placement is with a woman who shows her love, support, understanding, patience, and compassion. The movie gives the impression that some time has passed and she is happy with this placement and her foster mom. The girl starts to feel secure, to blossom even.

A gift from her foster mother – a new dress – sparks a traumatic memory of her father being abusive to her mom, and makes her respond with the projected anger and hatred for that event in her past.

It showed how the memories of the child were connected to an item, even an inanimate item such as a dress.

This is something we have been learning about in the Adoption Education Program (AEP) and how sometimes a child places enormous value on an item that seem unusual, items such as a hairbrush, or a dress. It was also a good reminder that anything can spark a memory or a relapse in a traumatized child, even a gift given with love.

Because of her reaction to the dress in the movie, the girl believed that the foster mother would move her on again, that she was on her way out once more…she saw her foster mother making a phone call and felt scared she’d been duped again, that the parent that she was beginning to trust was going to discard her like everyone else.

But the final scene shows that the foster mother could be trusted, and the phone call she made was not to move the child away, but to bring her brother home.

That last scene was so powerful for me as a reminder that as scared and distrusting as these kids are, they are kids who want to be loved, want to feel connected, want to have a home more than anything else in the world. And that with love, patience, compassion and understanding, they can be healed and find their way to a happy, healthy life.

While it was only a small insight into a ‘mild case’ of disruption it did reinforce for me that love is the key to breaking through to the children who will need it, and push it away, most.

ReMoved: 

I hope that my future children are in a safe and loving home right now and are feeling happy and ready for a forever family of their own. I hope they are receiving compassion, love, and acceptance with a patient and caring foster family.

Warm smiles and Love,

Ali Jayne 🙂