I am feeling grateful for my magnificent body. A wondrous feeling!
On Friday, like clockwork, as expected my body produced the last period I will have before the transfer.
Earlier in the week I had a few moments of panic that I made the wrong decision to not use birth control to regulate my flow. Everyone online talked about using it to ensure the transfer date; even those who had regular periods without it, but it didn’t sit right with me. The BCP felt like a step in the wrong direction.
Even my doctor thought it might be a good idea to go on it, but I wanted to trust my body and do this as “naturally” as possible. I didn’t feel right about adding more drugs to the mix.
Perhaps my way of having control of the situation a little more!
Always comes back to control with me! Haha.
I’ve had a 28 day cycle for the last few years, with an occasional 29, or 30 day cycle. But most always regular, always on time, like clockwork.
My body, under observation, has been teaching me the signs it gives when a period is coming, or when I’m ovulating. I understand it. I know it. I trust it.
So, this week my magnificent body did not disappoint.
In those moments that I questioned my choice, I continuously soothed my worries by saying, “it will work out, if it doesn’t arrive on Friday it will be Saturday, or Sunday, and those days will still work.”
I soothed myself with the notion that it would be fine either way…and so it was.
A lesson I wish to transfer to all of the aspects of my life!
“Life is working for me, and everything will work out…” (and so it does!)
I’m feeling this way about the whole process actually. If this works, then I will be overjoyed, but if it doesn’t, I have already received so much. I know my body. I trust my body to do what it needs to do each and every day to keep me moving forward.
When I think about all of the things it does on my behalf without my conscious actionable thoughts making things happen – breathing, regenerating, processing, pumping blood and carrying oxygen to my cells. This body is doing a great job, and as long as I don’t get too involved in making it do things, then it works like a well-rehearsed symphony.
I feel an abundance of gratitude and love for this magnificent body that knows what to do, that does what it is built to do without forceful assistance from me.
Friday night, I took my first estrogen tablet at 9:30pm and will be on an 8 hour cycle until the transfer.
Won’t that be fun on airlines and through time-zone changes!
Especially when we add the twice daily progesterone to the mix on March 25! That delightful addition is…erm…inserted not taken orally.
Oh. Joy. 😐
While the label and the documentation that came with the pills could give me pause for concern, especially the part that reads “do not take if pregnant or planning to get pregnant” (um…!) I am releasing those concerns and putting my faith in the doctors that prescribed them for the purpose of a successful embryo transfer, and in my body to process what it needs to prepare my body and discard what it doesn’t need to prepare my body.
And so far with the Estrogen I have experienced zero side effects. Phew! I know others are not so fortunate.
I wonder what would happen if I didn’t take them at all and let my body accept (or reject) this embryo naturally. What would happen if I decided to trust my body completely to do this thing…? Perhaps another time I will try it… but for now, I will follow the doctor’s instructions to the letter and trust my body to work with the resources being given.
Things are getting REAL. !!
On Friday while I was thinking about the fact that I would start the estrogen that night for the purpose of getting pregnant I had a full-on white-cold-panic flush. Like a “last chance to change your mind” moment.
A “Neo-esque” moment, do I take the pill or not?
I took the pill.
So here we are… I am two weeks away from hopping on a plane to Prague! In three weeks I will be pregnant with an embryo, which may decide that I’m the mom it needs for its journey through this life… or not.
I hope it chooses me. I can hardly wait to Love and nurture his or her growth and meet him or her sometime in December of this year!
At this point in time, I’m happy to be feeling gratitude for this… magnificent body!
Do you ever have those moments where you feel extreme gratitude for your body and the life experience you get to live within it?
Warm smiles and Love,